Sometimes, we are unable to realize how much mental and emotional strength we truly have inside unless we fall down. As we haven’t felt the need to use this strength yet, we are often oblivious of the strength we carry. However, obstacles and challenges provide us the opportunity to harness that inner strength. Allow your willpower to take charge and deliberately control your thoughts and tap into that strength, even if it might be painful for the time being. Dr. Samuels writes “You are courageous enough to change what you think is your destiny. You are worthy of a better life than the one you have now. The lie, sometimes, is in believing it is going to happen overnight. Sometimes, you merely have to accept the fact that you’re going to have to take tiny, baby steps to reach your goal.”
3. Decide what to do for yourself
Never allow other people to control or influence your reality. Life is full of ups and downs. Difficult situations and happy moments create a subtle balance that enables us to learn valuable lessons, discover our strengths and realize what true happiness is. However, when you allow other people to dictate your thoughts and emotions, you rob yourself of the painful experiences that life has given you as an opportunity to grow. Your struggles, failures and pain are your own. You should not face them the way someone else defines it to you. You need to create your own reality. Only then you will be able to learn what life is teaching you.
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It is highly crucial now that you have faith in yourself. That you believe that you can get through this on your own. Margie Warrell writes “Trusting yourself may not change your experiences in life, but it can change your experience of life. The more you trust that ‘you’ve got this,’ the sooner you actually will.” No one will understand your pain or your grief. They have not lost what you have lost. Your pain is yours alone. So you should not allow anyone else to decide what you should think and feel. “Life goes on, sure, but it is my life, and I am allowed to experience grief in whatever way it manifests itself as long as I understand that there are also things I can do – actions I can take – to ensure that I am not crippled by sadness and loss,” writes Dr. Samuels.
4. Identify what you can change, then change it
When you have a solution-focused mindset, you are better able to analyze the situation and recognize what aspects of the difficult situation are within your control. Once you know that, you can decide to change what you can. Instead of wallowing in self-pity or letting negative emotions take control of you, identify what steps you can take in this situation, develop a strategy and then take action.
“If you can’t change the situation, you may be able to change your attitude,” explains author and psychotherapist Amy Morin. If you are trying to cope with the loss of a loved one, then you need to focus on coping with your intense grief. And one of the ways to do that is to change your perspective. We cannot bring back those who are gone, but we can keep them in our memories and appreciate those who are still with us. Amy adds “Although it’s unlikely you can suddenly change your attitude overnight, you can change it over time. It is a process that takes hard work.” Changing your attitude can prove to be highly beneficial in bringing about a big change.
It is also important to recognize what you can’t change and accept the difficult situation as it is. “Don’t waste time and energy trying to change things you can’t change. Spending too much time thinking about and wishing things were different won’t do any good,” writes Amy.