4. Acknowledge Similarities Of Desired Outcomes.
Creativity equally values both similarities and differences. Look for the common ground—what do you both believe that is similar or what do you both hope for in the end that looks the same?
Make the similarities the starting point of finding a creative solution. Then frequently acknowledge what you both want as an end result. Hopefully, a way forward will emerge as you explore the differences in light of the similarities.
5. Embody The Emotions You Want To Maintain.
Do you want to feel calm and curious? Remind yourself what you want to feel before you enter the conversation. Release your irritation or fear. Then during the interaction, notice if you start to tense up. Breathe, release the tension, and recall the words, “calm and curious.” Notice when you have the urge to interrupt or take on their aggressiveness or anger. Return to feeling respect. Recall the positive intention you had for the conversation in the first place. Restate your intention before you respond.
If you are calm, curious, and respectful to others, you are in a position to recognize the emotions driving their choices as well as observing your own. You will see opportunities to acknowledge their ideas and encourage exploration.
In our competitive culture, we have never learned the nature and benefits of creating a better solution or relationship through conflict. However, if we can enter conversations with the desire to find a way forward, the conversation could collaboratively create a solution that not only reduces the conflict but improves relationships and satisfaction for everyone involved.
Be the light in your conversation. They may step into it with you.
See more tips on having effective conversations at www.Covisioning.com
Written By Marcia Reynolds Originally Appeared On Psychology Today