Therapist and author Shannon Thomas believes that emotionally abusive relationships are like a roller coaster. There are periods of punishment and periods of “intermittent reinforcement of kindness” displayed when the victim behaves according to the whims of the abuser. Thomas says “You have this back and forth, and the body becomes addicted. When we’re looking for something that we want, that we once had, which is a connection with somebody, and they are playing cat and mouse where they are pulling it back and forth, then the body really does become dependent on having that approval.”
Protect the self
This is why it is crucial that you identify trauma bonding if you are in an abusive relationship and start taking steps to set up personal boundaries and protect yourself. Once you begin to realize that you are being abused, you can finally see how damaging your partner truly is. You can realize why it’s imperative that you walk away from this abusive relationship to save your own self. Only then healing can truly begin.