22 Stages of Relationship Between An Empath and A Narcissist

 December 02, 2016

22 Stages of Relationship Between An Empath and A Narcissist



1   The empath gets attracted to a narcissist. Their relationship starts. Empath loves deeply and unconditionally. They feel emotionally fulfilled even though the narcissist plays no role to develop a stronger bond. The empath feels satisfied and thinks their love is reciprocated just by being around the narcissist.

 

2   The empath gets the false notion that they have finally met the kind of love that people don’t find even once. Narcissist affirms this by creating an illusion that leads the empath to believe that what they have is special. The empath feels a deep bond that is almost impossible to break free.

 

3   Sometimes it appears that the narcissist wants this relationship as much as the empath. Actually, what they want is someone who invests their time, energy and love and is in their complete control.

 

 4   As the time will pass, the narcissist will make the empath feel weak, unconfident, and bereft of the abilities to do even the simple things. The narcissist will never launch an open attack, but use statements like “don’t want to hurt you but…” to point out some shortcoming. They will try to take over anything which symbolizes control such as handling bills or making decisions about purchases. The empathy will be looked down upon for their interests and many such things that form their identity. Gradually, the empath starts to believe that they are less capable and they “need” someone like the person in their life. They get the notion no one would want them.




 

5   For an empath, this relationship will be everything as they are the ones who are in love. Out of love, they would always want to soothe and cheer the narcissist, talk to them, help them and do whatever it makes them feel good. The narcissists project themselves as the victim of their past, their relationships, and the circumstances. The empaths are givers; they try to make up for all the unfortunate things that have ever happened to the narcissist.

 

6  The empath has a good and a clear heart and cannot imagine the deep and unresolved wounds of the narcissist are not the same as their own. Healing those wounds is different from their own.

 

7  The relationship is all about the narcissist. The empath realizes this slowly, and a time comes when they feel afraid to talk or fight for their needs and desires. In their attempt to please they don’t want to voice their true needs. They would rather be likable than give any reason to be disliked. But, secretly they are not too happy.

8  The more devotion, love, care, affection, and effort the empath puts into the relationship, the narcissist feels completely in control over the relationship. The empath literally dances to the tune of the narcissist. As long as the empath continues to appease the narcissist, it’s impossible to detect any problem in the relationship. The problem occurs when the empath finally reaches the breaking point.




 

9  Finally, the empath raises a voice because they can no longer keep up with the suppressing ways of the narcissist. Day after day their emotional needs remain unfulfilled. This happens because from the beginning of the relationship they have believed their partner’s emotional needs are all that matters. When they finally understand their well-being also matters, and speak out, they seem selfish. The narcissist does not like it.




71 comments on “22 Stages of Relationship Between An Empath and A Narcissist

  1. This is very accurate. Im at stage 15 right now. We were on again off again for two years and every time I went back, he broke down my defenses. I knew something wasn’t right with him when we went on our first date but I didn’t trust myself and didn’t realize his narcissistic tactics. I figured him out but kept going back hoping that he would change. What was really going on was that I was in denial because I really loved him and I didn’t want to be right about him. I didn’t want to see that he really didn’t care about me or love me. I wanted to believe him when he said he cared and respected me. I trusted his words more than my own feelings. He “accidentally” called me the other day and I didn’t answer. Nor did I call back. I don’t plan on it. What I need is the strength to let go and move on. I had a vision one night while I was laying in bed with him of him killing me. For so long I have been taught that there was something wrong with me because of my ability to feel things on a deep and profound level, but I am coming to accept that I am an empath. I am a healer and there is nothing wrong with me. I am also learning that I DO NOT have to love, care for, give my time to, or help anyone that I do not wish to and that taking care of and protecting myself is NOT selfish. I am very happy I found this article. I feel very lonely sometimes because it seems like no one understands me but I know there are others out there like me and I am excited to meet them one day. I ask for strength.

    • I have just wasted 5 years of my life with a charming, manipulative narcissist. I also returned to the relationship time and time again believing that we had a ‘special’ bond. I actually convinced myself that the love and faith I put into the relationship was reciprocated. He does ‘love’ me but now I know that this means different things to different people. A narcissist does not comprehend that respect, honesty, care and loyalty are all essential.
      I am angry with myself for pouring all my love into a bottomless vessel. I have felt depleted, worthless and empty.
      I am trying hard not to feel ‘selfish’ now that I understand MY wellbeing should be my priority. Continually putting someone else’s needs and wants first is the path to self destruction.
      I am sometimes lonely but it beats being miserable. You cannot change a narcissist. A leopard cannot change it’s spots. It can camouflage itself so you let down your defences. Never again will I allow anyone to use and abuse me.

  2. The smartest narcissists target gorgeous women and keep the act up for the life of the marriage.

    Thinking through the 22 stages, one might prepare a life-mate by breaking her heart once or twice prior. That will result in her being less idealistic and more accepting of your preferred behavior (such as dalliances outside marriage).

      • Wow, that is pretty accurate, mine cheated on me with one of his exes before we got married, I was pregnant with my eldest he cheated again with her, after we got married it just continued with other women, also while I was pregnant with my second son, half I don’t even know about but those that I know about were less attractive than me, at least that is what people that had seen or knew them said. Almost 21 years of marriage and 25years together he finally leaves me and relieves me of my hell and to this day I don’t really even know what she looks like because she is French and the live in Malta. two days before he finally ended it we will still making plans for the future and boom. Now I am the abuser according to him, he always wanted me to lose weight even if I was on my ideal weight, I eventually didn’t care anymore. Now I am happy, I never thought I would be able to move on I believed that that was what life was about, being in a constant state of fear that your partner will leave you at anytime if you don’t keep them happy at all times.

  3. Oh…My..gosh… This sooo describes my on-and-off 3 year relationship with my “psycho ex.” I’ve known for years that I’m an empath, didn’t realize that that he was a narcissist/sociopath (like my father, ironically enough) until too late. He was obsessive, controlling & jealous, as well as wounded, and I interpreted it as loving, and that I could “help” him. I NEVER thought I would get into an abusive relationship (mentally, verbally – even involving my family & friends!) until I was. Thank you for shedding light on this situation.

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