How Do You Know Who Really Is Your Soulmate?


We come across so many people in our lifetime. Some of them are our mere acquaintances, some of them are temporary people and a few out of them remain with us, throughout our lives. They are permanent people. And one out of those ‘forever’ people is your soulmate.

We all have a fantasy about how our soulmate will be. How he/she will look, how he/she will talk, how she/he will love us. On the other hand, some of us don’t have a clue as to what we want in our soul mate. We just wait to meet that person with whom we feel complete, at peace and spiritually connected. That is when we know, we have found our soulmate.

The people we desire in life – the hot girl at the campus, or the charming guy at the gym, or the rich, talented man, or a lovely, kind girl, often make appearances in our lives, even without us realizing. Maybe you have met her at the bar, or the shopping mall. When we do come across this, and something ticks in us, we pursue them. We start believing that they are the best fit for us. They are our perfect match.

We exchange numbers, get a date, meet each other, we frequently go out unless and until we fall in love. We are extremely happy at this stage of your life because you have what you forever desired.

Within a blink of an eye, the shine wears off and everything starts being dull. The encounters are no more fun, sparky or exciting. The touch doesn’t feel like fire anymore and the temptation to be with each other has died. The time for fun is over. It’s time to get down to work. And who wants that? Love is supposed to be naturally amusing, not hard work.

Unfortunately, most of us stumble here and never complete the journey together. For these people, this is the end of their fairy tale. But, in reality, this juncture of your relationship, when you most desperately want to give up, is the most difficult test you both are running through.

True love, a strong bond is hard-earned. If it’s easily available and simple, it is too shallow.

We must struggle in pain, suffer in silence, sacrifice our outmost desires, and die for love.

While it’s agreeable that a relationship takes mutual effort, compromises and lot more than just love to sustain but I disagree with the notion that everything great is worth suffering for.

Mark Radcliffe says, “If the relationship you’re in takes constant, ongoing acrobatic maneuvers to keep it afloat, then it’s not a relationship; it’s a doomsday project.”

A relationship should ideally flow naturally.

If it doesn’t, then chances are you are either of the two types:

1. Overly independent – You are sufficient enough to provide for yourself. You do not expect anything from your partner. Actually you would be better off without anyone in your life. You (or both) are a stable individual needing nobody else other than yourself to sustain.
2. Excessively dependent –  You (or both) are emotionally dependent. One or both of you have an unrealistic set of expectations of what the other person should do to keep you happy and satisfied. One or both of you constantly need to be approved, to be attended to, to be loved, feed and to be taken care of.

Neither of the extremities fosters a healthy relationship.