4. You can’t see the truth.
I have a client who has a boyfriend who always tells her that she can’t see the truth.
He has been trying to win her back, again, and she is being, finally, very cautious. He reappeared at her door after 6 months, announcing that he loved her, that he wanted to move in with her and get married. He expected her to jump back in his arms. And she didn’t.
Since then, he has vaccillated back and forth between telling her he loves her and blaming her for the fact that they aren’t back together. ‘I jumped back in,’ he says. ‘If you really loved me, you would have done the same.’
I have to reassure her regularly that the truth of the matter is that she is being careful. His declaration of love is something that he does to pull her back in and then he walks away again. She has let him do that before, because she does love him, but she is not going to do it again.
Even so, because he is a gaslighter, she is constantly struggling to see the truth in the situation.
5. Everything is your fault.
Does your person always tell you that you are at fault?
If he comes home drunk, does he blame you for driving him to drink? If she runs up the credit card, does she say it’s because you are never home? Is a dinner that was burnt because you had to do something for them your fault?
Someone who is gaslighting you is someone who will take no responsibility for the dynamic between the two of you. Everything will be your fault. Not only does that absolve them from any responsibility it will also continue to undermine your belief that you are worthless and unloveable.
Knowing what someone who is gaslighting you will say is the key to preventing, or stopping it, from happening.
If you are with someone who tells you are always wrong, who tells you are friendless and worthless, who makes you doubt yourself in every way, then, most likely you are with someone who is gaslighting you.
You may or may not recognize why this is happening to you but it is important that you do not trust what this person is saying and doing and that you get away from them as soon as possible. Reach out to people who love you to help you escape from this person so that you can keep your sanity and have a happy life.
If you have made it this far you must really be wondering if you are being gaslighted. Let me help you, NOW, before it’s too late! Email me at email@example.com, or click here, and let’s get started.
Written By Mitzi Bockmann Originally Appeared In Let Your Dreams Begin