Being congruent is about embracing and expressing your true feelings.
Most people fail to be congruent because they do not want to show weakness. However, I have found that some of my best friends are those who have known me at my worst, most unattractive moments. There’s something very endearing and relatable about someone who is being vulnerable – even though they are not perfect. Genuine flaws are usually much more charming than a manufactured veneer of perfection.
4. YOU DO YOU, HONEY!
Do things because you genuinely want to – not because you want to appear a certain way to others or to fit in.
When you stop looking for validation from others, you free yourself up to pursue interests and hobbies that you may never have considered before – which will, in the end, make you a more well-rounded and interesting person. Your passion for the pursuits you have chosen will be attractive to others because nothing is more appealing than someone who is genuinely having a good time. Think of the last truly and the universally likable person you encountered – did he need you to like him? Of course not – because he liked himself. Take back control of your self-image by worrying less about what others think of you and more about who you really are and how much you are enjoying life.
5. LISTEN UP!
Everyone loves to talk – but few have perfected the art of listening.
As the wife of a very good listener, I can tell you from the outside what a profound impact it has on people. Most people, myself included, tend to talk too much because we are eager to make a connection. However, it’s in listening that you come to truly understand a person and what makes them tick. Because he is a natural at this, my husband not only attracts people and makes them feel comfortable, but is also able to offer thoughtful insights regarding their problems, strengths, and motivations.
Listening opens your mind, strengthens your sense of empathy, and develops your ability to connect. As someone who struggles to develop this skill, I cannot recommend it highly enough!
Want to find out who are the best listeners? here’s 5 Zodiac Signs Who Also Make The Best Listeners
6. SHAKE IT OFF!
Everyone has felt the sting of rejection – even Taylor Swift. Unfortunately, if we dwell on these rejections and the reasons why others might not like us, we can train our brain to look for our flaws and blunders – creating the opposite of the effect discussed above in tip #1. The fact that not everyone will like us can be disheartening, or it can be tremendously freeing. Rejection, after all, is rarely about your defects. More often, two people simply don’t mesh well, and you are both better off putting your time and energy into other relationships.
The funny thing about becoming a truly and deeply appealing person is that, if you have this quality, you likely don’t even care – because you love yourself regardless.
Your most important and long-lasting relationship is the one that you have with yourself. Cultivate that, and the rest is sure to fall into place.
Written by Robyn Reisch Originally appeared on I Heart Intelligence.com