One among the major challenges facing a woman who is single is attending a wedding solo or celebrating Valentine’s Day alone; for these are days that highlight your singleness to your friends and family. You are alone. It also becomes particularly harder when everyone around your circle is coupled up. The spotlight is on you. This may be a good thing or a bad thing depending on how you interpret the situation.
I have been single for six years now. In the beginning it was hard- making me want to settle in a relationship as long as I get to be seen with a significant other. The experience left me depleted and angry at myself for allowing someone to treat me less than I deserve. I remember, when I had a boyfriend who didn’t plan a date for us on valentine’s day back on the days when I was coupled up nor got me anything for the event. I was angry; not because he didn’t get me anything but because he never even thought about it.
So for the last six years I have been celebrating this special day on my own; and each year it gets better than the last one. This is because I have learned to embrace my singleness and plan my day for the special woman that I am. Some of the things that you can do alone to celebrate this special day on your own can range from buying yourself gifts to dancing your heart out. However, the goal is to enjoy it regardless of your soloness. Here is what you can do:
1. Go out on your own
Every valentine’s day ever since I became single, I have been taking myself out. Yes it’s daunting considering everyone will be cooing over their significant other. But that hasn’t stopped me. I cooed over myself and my wine and the food in front of me. However, this year, I will be going out with a friend of mine who is also single and we will have the time of our lives celebrating on our own.
2.Dance your heart out
The first year that I became single; Valentine’s Day was very hard for me. I wasn’t yet comfortable to sit on own through dinner on a day when everyone was in pairs. So instead, I went dancing. It was fun; it was liberating and it was invigorating. I danced my heart out on the dance floor. I swayed my hips to the rhythm of the music. There were men who were single too on that day, and I ended up having a good time with them. Not like that…only though dancing.
3. Buy yourself a gift
I buy myself gifts whenever I feel like I need to remind myself how special I am. The longer I was single the comfortable I became and this reminder wasn’t necessary for it was sealed in my heart and brain each and every day as I traverse through life’s ups and down alone. I buy myself chocolates and flowers. Well, this year I spoiled myself with sexy lingerie. I can hear what you are thinking: ‘but nobody will see them or peel them off your body later on’. Yeah I know. I will peel them slowly myself as if am being undressed by a lover.
4. Netflix and chill
You can decide to watch all your favourite movies on this particular day. However, don’t choose something depressing: I always go for movies that remind me that love is worth finding and sometimes we don’t get what we want; when we want it. Sometimes we have to learn to be alone before we can be able to love another being unconditionally. Sometimes, it’s also good to believe in magic and fairytales. But don’t forget to accommodate reality in your perspective.
Don’t lock yourself inside the house- afraid that you are not good enough because you are single. Enjoy yourself on this special day. Spend the day with the number one love of your life: yourself. And feel the magic of love, music and chocolate as happily as you would have with the significant other. Don’t let the fun pass you by because you are single. Let the reality fill your day with joy- by doing all the things that you would have loved to do with the person that you love. However, since you haven’t found them, yet- then do all of them on your own.