8 Signs Your Friend Is Actually A Frenemy

Many times who we consider our closest friend is not really our friend at all. You might think that they have your best interests at heart, but the actual truth is far from it. Such a person is known as a frenemy, who pretends to be your friend but is actually your biggest rival. Someone who only wishes bad things for you. 

On the outside, frenemies show that they always want the best for you and will always be there for you. On the contrary, they love it if you go through something bad and hurtful. They never hesitate to talk behind your back, but always pretend to be your well-wisher when they are with you.

So, how can you differentiate between a genuine friend and a frenemy?

Related: 8 Types Of Toxic People You Should Leave Without Feeling Guilty

8 Signs That Your “Friend” Is In Reality Your Frenemy

1. A frenemy will always over-share. 

One of the most prominent qualities of a frenemy is that they tend to be extremely talkative when it comes to their personal lives. They will share with you all their personal information in the first meeting itself. Not only that, but they will also offer to help you with your work, be it personal or professional. They will be like the best friend you never had.

The truth is whatever “good deeds” they might do for you, all of that comes at a cost. Frenemies do everything in return for something. They will expect you to “repay” them with gifts, favors, interest, or excitement.

2. A frenemy is a huge attention-seeker. 

Frenemies always want to be the most important people in your life and would try to be your best friend the moment you meet them. They will try to be in constant touch with you, be it through phone calls, texts, or social media, and will always be seeking your attention.

In case they ever need you to support them, you have no other option other than to be there for them. But when the situation is reversed, and you need them, they tend to disappear. As long as you are fulfilling their wishes, all is well and good in their world. 

3. A frenemy will give you negative vibes. 

Genuine friends will make you feel loved, appreciated, protected, and positive. They never make you feel unsure or negative in any way. However, when it comes to your frenemies, you will notice that you feel the polar opposite. 

Frenemies will tend to give you negative vibes, and you will feel like your gut is trying to warn you about something. You will feel this almost every time you are with them or when you are in their vicinity. So, trust your gut instinct and get rid of that toxic friend now!

4. A frenemy will try to sabotage you. 

One of the distinctive qualities of a frenemy is to make sure that you never succeed and nothing good ever happens to you. On the surface, they might behave like your biggest cheerleaders, but they will secretly try to sabotage your every move.

If you are going through something painful, it will make them the happiest person in the world. But if something positive happens in your life, you will notice that they are not very happy about it. Additionally, they will also try to undermine or dismiss your achievements as a matter of luck or as flukes.

Related: Letting Toxic Friends Go: How To Move on From Toxic Friendships

5. A frenemy will disguise insults as humor. 

Frenemies love putting people down and it is one of their most favorite hobbies. But there is a certain way they do it. They won’t criticize you directly on your face; they will put you down by disguising it as humor and leg-pulling. The moment you react or say that you are hurt, they will further attack you with a customary “It was just a joke. Chill.” or “You really need to have a sense of humor.”

Friends do pull your leg occasionally, but at the end of the day, they have a lot of respect for you. But when it comes to your frenemies, they use humor to perfectly cover up all the humiliating and degrading things they say.

6. A frenemy hates being called out. 

The one thing that a frenemy absolutely hates is being challenged and called out for their dubious actions. In case you confront them over their bad behavior, they will either overreact or make it seem like you are crazy and are making things up. They truly take the cake when it comes to displaying some good old-fashioned narcissism.

They tend to consider themselves the smartest people in the room, and that is why it takes them by surprise when someone exposes their real face. Frenemies will do and say anything they can to overturn it and make it look like it’s your fault. 

7. A frenemy is incredibly insensitive.

This should not come across as a surprise now, but frenemies are exceptionally insensitive. If it’s not about them, they absolutely do not give a damn. No matter how badly hurt you are or in pain you are, they will leave you in the middle of the road and expect you to take care of yourself.

When things are all right, they will always assure you that they will be there for you whenever you need them. But when the time comes for them to support you or have your back, they conveniently leave the scene. 

Related: 10 Signs of Toxic and Narcissistic Friends – by Shahida Arabi

8. A frenemy revels in your sadness. 

A frenemy tends to feed off negativity, and the more there is, the better. In case you tell them that your relationship is going through a rough patch, they will want to know more. Not to help you make things right, but to enjoy the fact that you are depressed and in pain.

They will ask you innumerable questions and the more vulnerable you get, the more leverage and ammunition you are giving them to hurt you in the future. Trusting a frenemy is probably one of the biggest mistakes you can make because they won’t hesitate for a second to backstab you. 

Frenemies function on the principles of resentment, jealousy, bitterness, negativity, and narcissism. They can never think of doing a good and selfless deed for someone, let alone being a genuine friend for life.

So, beware of who your real friends are. The moment you suspect or realize that you have a frenemy in your life, shun them as soon as you can, for the sake of your mental health and happiness.