7 Signs You May Still Be Codependent And How To Change This Fast


Please know how common this is! It’s such a huge part of narcissistic abuse recovery because narcissists will absolutely attack you when you try to lay boundaries!

Herein lies some of the greatest inner work you can ever do. Personally, for me, this was beyond life-changing. Before I turned inwards with Quanta Freedom Healing to heal this literal terror, I would have brain fog, panic, or just see “white fuzz” when I knew I needed to speak up. I just couldn’t.

Thank goodness I transformed out of this!

Just like myself, by healing these childhood wounds within you that caused you to fear speaking up, you will have the power and ability to express yourself and voice your concerns, ask the relevant questions, have difficult conversations, and say “No” and mean it.

These are vital human skills in business, love, and family and friendship relationships. They are also essential in intimate partner relationships.

There is so much more I could say about boundaries (which I teach you about in all my Courses), but I just want to drop this piece here – boundaries are not about other people “getting” your boundary and “agreeing” to it. It is about YOU getting it and agreeing to it.

There will be people in your life who have neither the capacity nor desire to meet your values and boundaries healthily. But you have the power to say “no more” and to attract and generate relationships that do.

#4. Self-Avoiding With Addictions Instead Of Self-Soothing

A big part of codependency is trying to seek relief and comfort from outside of yourself, instead of turning inwards to self-soothe, do the inner work and heal yourself.

In times of being triggered you may eat, smoke, drink, take drugs, work obsessively, watch porn, seek sexual relationships, obsessively indulge in activities like social media, researching, stalking your ex on social media, venting on abuse groups, binge TV watching, shopping, gambling, or even sleeping.

These are all methods of self-avoidance and self-abandonment. They are ways of trying to numb out the inner pain, instead of meeting it and healing through and beyond it.

Lots of sensitive, highly empathetic people fall into this category because we feel so much and often it’s overwhelming! Please know many of us in this community have intensely addictive personalities.

I used to have plenty of obsessive “go-to’s”. These were … smoking, drinking, workaholism, obsessive researching … and the list goes on. Yet by trying to avoid the pain, I was only kicking the can down the road, and my unattended traumas, like ignored housework, were growing daily and causing me to even more obsessively seek addictive relief.

There is only one answer to escape the escalating cycle of self-destructive addictions – drop the self-avoidance tactics, turn inwards and heal. That was a key decision I made to save my life.

Turning away from addiction, and inwards to “self” is a big piece of recovering from codependency, and I’m going to give you a very powerful solution to get this started at the end of this article. One which will help you find the love, relief, and power that you have previously been trying to seek in all the wrong places – outside of yourself.

Related: How Self Love Is The Key To Codependency Recovery

#5. Staying Attached When You Are Being Hurt

You discovered in narcissistic abuse that even after terrible treatment, you stayed.

Doing this personally stunned and shocked me. I knew I was smart and incredibly resourceful, yet I couldn’t stay away. At the time I felt so helpless, powerless, and stuck in the self-loathing as to “why” I would be doing this to myself – keep going back to someone who had done the most unthinkable and disgusting things to me.

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5

Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans is a global narcissistic abuse recovery expert and the creator of the Quanta Freedom Healing method and The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP). Melanie’s leading-edge healing methods have helped thousands of people make astounding full recoveries from toxic relationship abuse. Her work has now touched the lives of over 15 million people from more than 100 countries worldwide and her abuse recovery system is recommended by doctors, psychologists, therapists, and renowned relationship experts from all over the world. Melanie’s work is revolutionizing the old Model of Survivor Recovery to one of Thriver status. The free content Melanie offers on abuse recovery reaches close to 7 million people monthly on her website and across her numerous social media platforms and her reach continues to grow exponentially. In 2018, Melanie released her first book, You Can Thrive After Narcissistic Abuse - The #1 System for Recovering from Toxic Relationships which became an Amazon bestseller in days, and is now being translated into multiple languages. Free 16 Day Recovery Course – A Roadmap To Getting Clarity, Relief and Your Life Back On TrackView Author posts