How Do I Know If a Therapist is Right For Me? 10 Signs

therapist is right for me

7. Ask Them To Consider Reading A Book And See How They Respond.

I think it is completely reasonable to ask your therapist to consider reading a book. I also think it is legitimate for a therapist to say, “Well, I do not have time to read another book, but thank you for the suggestion anyway!” What is more important is how they react to the question.

The reason for this is if you subscribe to a person’s work and it is core to your understanding of yourself, then your therapist should show genuine interest in learning more. A better answer might be, “Well, that sounds interesting, while I might not be able to read the book, I would love to find out more about the book through your point of view.”

8. Flexibility And Availability With Their Schedule.

Schedule flexibility is important in any therapist-client relationship. Sometimes timing is not the fault of the therapist but simply is an inability to meet your needs. If your therapist cannot give you any scheduled meetings that work with your schedule, it might be a good idea to move forward.

While off times are important for any professional, if they consistently take time off for holidays or vacations, it might not be the right fit for you. The more acute your situation is, the more time you will need to work with your therapist.

9. Over-Charging Or Too High Of Fees.

This one is tough money and costs are a sticking point.

Good therapists are worth their weight in gold, and there are reasonable ranges of costs for good therapists. Some therapists who do not accept insurance will range from $100 to $200, at least in Illinois. And the cost goes lower in some parts of the United States and higher in others.

But sometimes people get ahead of themselves and they charge more than they should be charging. And if they charge too much and do not deliver the quality of therapy they profess to offer, their business is likely to go nowhere.

Related: 10 Common Myths About Therapy

10. When The Therapist Discloses Too Much Personal Information.

Do they talk too much? Or, do they disclose too much personal information? Do they relate to what you are saying by including their own stories, with statements like “oh yeah, the same thing happened to me”?

Self-disclosure is often used as a strong therapy technique because it can make the client feel understood and connected too. However, when it is overused, it is a boundary violation. It is very important that therapists have appropriate boundaries. Therapy is a relationship, but not a friendship.

Use these signs to figure out whether a therapist is a right fit for you. Your healing could depend on the choice you make.

Ross Rosenberg M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, is the owner of Self-Love Recovery Institute. He is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness, and author. Ross is known globally for his expertise in codependency (Self-Love Deficit Disorder™), Pathological Narcissism, Narcissistic Abuse, and Trauma Treatment. He is a keynote speaker and educator who has presented in 30 States/70 cities and abroad. Ross has been regularly featured on national TV and radio. His “The Human Magnet Syndrome” books sold over 120K copies and are translated into 10 languages. His YouTube Channel has amassed 19 million video views and over 200K subscribers.  


Written By Ross Rosenberg 
Originally Appeared In Human Magnet Syndrome
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How Do I Know If a Therapist is Right For Me? 10 Signs
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