21 Signs Your Relationship Is Over and It’s Time To Quit

21 Signs Your Relationship Is Over and It's Time To Quit

Related article – Why Do People Cheat Even In Happy Relationships? 4 Myths About Infidelity and Affairs

 

13. Inability to resolve conflict.

This manifests first as endless fighting without reaching agreement and after a while morphs into the “whatever” stage, in which partners stop caring about the outcome because they’ve stopped investing in the relationship. There’s something to be said for the maxim of never going to bed angry. If neither partner can be the bigger person, give up the need to be right, and approach conflict in a conciliatory fashion, there’s no point in continuing.

 

14. Sabotage.

When we do things unconsciously that damage our relationship, it’s our psyche telling us we want and need out. You can say you want to stay until you’re blue in the face, but your actions will always speak louder than your words.

Related article – 8 Ways Your Fear and Insecurity Is Sabotaging Your Relationship

 

15. Addictive behaviors.

If your partner is a substance abuser, a compulsive spender or gambler, a sex addict, or even a true workaholic, your relationship will never take first priority. And unless it does, you won’t be happy. Not to mention that addictive behaviors, especially when enabled, can ruin lives.

 

16. Unhealthy attachments.

Is your partner still attached to an ex-spouse or former lover or enmeshed with his or her family? These attachments can disrupt and ultimately destroy the fabric of a healthy relationship, eating holes in it until it disintegrates. Honor thy mother and father. Respect thine exes, especially if you’ve had children with them. But always put your partner first. If you feel like you’re second fiddle—or the fifth violin—it’s time to face the music.

Related article – 5 Signs of Unhealthy Attachment Style in a Relationship

 

17. Threats and emotional blackmail.

These should never, ever occur in a healthy relationship. They are often presented as being about love but they are always about control. Period. And control is a form of abuse. Period. Run from these as fast as you can.

 

18. Comparisons and ratings.

Is your partner comparing you to others—people who earn more, look more attractive, or have a better personality? Or rating your attributes on a scale? This is a form of denigration. If someone thinks the grass is greener, or that they won’t have to fertilize and pull weeds in another field, let them go for it, and let them go. We’re each unique individual, and how we measure up against another or some arbitrary standard isn’t relevant. In a nod to number 8: if your partner loved you, he or she wouldn’t do that.

 

19. Indifference.

Honestly. Why stay if you no longer care?

 

20. Withdrawal of affection.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting a roommate, but if you want more from your relationship, don’t stay with a partner who has become one.

 

21. Physical violence.

Never acceptable under any circumstances. No excuses. No explanations. No justifications. No more.

Related article – How Abusive Relationships Trap us Into Not Leaving

 

Ultimately, in my opinion, all relationship conflict and the behavior that accompanies it springs from pain. If the conflict is an attempt to open and cleanse a wound, to promote healing, to mend holes, strengthen the bond and bring partners closer together,—then you have a “fighting” chance. But if it is an effort to rend and tear apart, to bash and smash and break, to assuage one’s own pain by causing pain for another, the writing is on the wall. We’d best read it, or we’ll end up weeping.

So friends, do you know of any other signs that your relationship is over? Let us know by commenting below.


Written by Jed Diamond Ph.D
Originally appeared in The Goodmen Project

21 Signs Your Relationship Is Over and It's Time To Quit

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