To heal, you can also learn how to befriend and manage your emotions, including the unpleasant ones such as sadness, and the threatening ones like anger. You can get through your emotional storms, even if they feel uncontrollable.
A part of this may be to cultivate mindfulness, so you can be an observer of your own emotions, rather than being in the middle of it. You can learn to see that just because you are feeling something does not mean that it’s the reality. You acknowledge and accept your intense feelings, but that does not mean you need to act on them.
Someone with quiet BPD is a silent sufferer and will not share their stresses or symptoms unless someone really cares enough to ask them about it. Please remember, there is no shame in acknowledging that you are struggling and need help. The reason you became ‘quiet’ in the first place is that you were once painfully oppressed or silenced. But no matter what your childhood conditioning has taught you to believe, you are worthy of love, care, and healing. Despite your struggles, you also have a lot to offer the world.
Healing involves reaching out, and that is threatening for you. This process calls for tremendous courage and tenacity. You need to summon all the self-love you could have for yourself, even when it feels unnatural at first. But you can achieve significant progress by putting one foot in front of the others, taking one small step at a time. One day, you will look back and be very glad you have embarked on this journey towards coming out and healing.
Reaching Out To Someone With Quiet BPD
Due to the very nature of Quiet BPD, it can be difficult to tell who might be suffering from it. It’s also indiscriminate, affecting people from all different walks of life, those around you who appear normal or successful could be suffering in silence. They are typically highly sensitive, intuitive, and creative, when their mental health takes a downturn, however, they lose control of themselves and become vulnerable.
Most Quiet BPD sufferers live with a sense of failure and shame. They feel as though they’re lying to their friends and family or not being true to themselves. If you suspect that a friend, a loved one or a colleague is suffering from high-functioning BPD, please understand that they are trying their absolute best to survive, and are in tremendous pain. However frustrated you may be, don’t try to confront them or force them to admit they have a problem.
One of the best ways to help someone who’s struggling with Quiet BPD is to simply offer your support and make sure that they know that you’ll be there for them. You might not be able to understand exactly what’s going on inside their hearts and mind, but you can make yourself available to them if they are ready to reach out.
Even though the push-pull pattern could be challenging, try not to desert or punish them. Set kind and firm boundaries, give them space to come to terms with their own struggles and try not to patronize or attempt to rescue them.
Ultimately, understand that it is not on you to alter their path. You can be a caring but respectful ally but nothing more.
Their behaviors may not make sense from your perspective, but please remember that their symptoms are a result of unspeakable pain and trauma. Whatever it is that they did or are doing, they do so to survive.
If you are able to show your friend or family member that you are there for them with an open heart, when they feel safe enough, they will open up to you.
Many people with BPD are incredibly gifted, sensitive, and creative. They have a lot to offer the world. If they can find a way to heal from their past and learn to manage their stormy emotions, they can channel their empathy and creativity into becoming the best lovers, artists, and empathic leaders of the world.
I swore never to be silent whenever human beings endure suffering and humiliation.― Elie Wiesel
Visit Imi Lo’s website Eggshell Therapy for more such informative articles.
Having and suffering from quiet BPD can be a lonely and difficult thing to go through, especially on your own. But there is light at the end of the tunnel. You don’t have to alone in this. Reach out to the people you trust and know for a fact that will understand your struggles and will be there for you. The days of you suffering in silence will finally come to an end.
If you want to know more about the signs of quiet BPD, then check this video out below: