11 Signs Of Self-Pity And How To Overcome It

Signs Of SelfPity Overcome It

10) You have a strong fighting instinct

Having a strong fighting instinct can be a good or bad thing depending on what you choose to use it for. When used in a negative sense, the fighting instinct is used to battle against life, fight against the tide, and fight against accepting reality.

11) You subconsciously feel guilty

Often, self-pity is an unconscious way of avoiding taking responsibility for personal actions or decisions made in the past. When we find it too difficult to accept the wrong that we’ve committed, sometimes we tend to hide from it by making ourselves the victims, rather than other people. In this case, self-pity is the perfect self-defense mechanism.

Self-Pity & Shadow Work

Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality. 
– John W. Gardner

If you’ve made it up to this point in the article, chances are that something within your life has recently shone a light on this negative trait within yourself.

Whether it was pointed out by another person, discovered while doing some journaling, or revealed by a dark night of the soul, self-pity can make life feel hellish.

We can feel insecure, ashamed, embarrassed, or flat-out angry toward ourselves when coming face to face with our own self-pity.

Don’t worry. As I said before, this is a normal human trait. Also, no one is perfect, and that’s okay. So be kind toward yourself. The good thing is that now you’re aware of this habit and you can do something about it.

One powerful preliminary step I recommend to overcoming self-pity is to explore your toxic core beliefs.

At the very heart of chronic self-pity is at least one deeply held mistaken belief about ourselves. So I strongly recommend reading and learning about core beliefs.

Read Shadow Work: How to Let Your Inner Demons Guide You

12 Essential Ways of Overcoming Self-Pity

Discovering that we suffer from chronic self-pity – and taking steps to overcome this issue – is part of the process of self-growth and spiritual transformation.

So if you suspect that you constantly self-pity, don’t fight it.

Don’t hide from your self-pity in shame or embarrassment, rather, face it and accept it as a fact of your life.

Embrace the fact that you are flawed and fallible … just like everyone else. Only then can you hope to make long-lasting changes within yourself!

Below you’ll find a list of beginner-friendly ways on how to overcome self pity:

1. Keep a gratitude journal and write in it for 10 minutes every day

Keeping a gratitude journal, where you write down a list of things that you’re thankful for each day, is one effective way of re-programming your thought patterns.

Nothing is too small or irrelevant to write down. For instance, something like “I’m thankful that this cup of tea is warm” or “I appreciate the softness of my pillow,” are perfect candidates for being grateful.

Read 3 Effects of Gratitude On The Brain and Body, According To Science

Whatever you are thankful for, write it down! Learn more about how to journal.

11 Signs Of Self-Pity And How To Overcome It
11 Signs Of Self-Pity And How To Overcome It

2. Grow a plant. Raise some herbs. Garden!

According to a survey conducted in 2013, 80 percent of gardeners reported that they were “happy” and “satisfied” with their lives, compared to the 67% of non-gardeners surveyed.

Not only does gardening remove the attention and energy you place on yourself and redirect it to something other than yourself, but it also instills you with a sense of accomplishment!

Read 5 Houseplants That Are Oxygen Bombs To Keep The Air Within Your House Clean

3. Sit in the sun

According to studies, vitamin D (which you gain from the sun), actually helps to improve your mood and energy levels, whilst decreasing depression. Ensuring that you get enough sun exposure each day is a good way to fight self-pity.

Sit in the sun
11 Signs Of Self-Pity And How To Overcome It

4. Watch funny videos, clips, and pictures

This is an excellent way of breaking yourself out of the self-pity cycle. Good websites to check out are Reddit and YouTube.

5. Get a pet animal

Whether it’s a dog, cat, bunny, guinea pig, fish, studies show that caring for a pet helps to reduce depression, thus helping you to overcome self-pity.

Dogs Can See Sadness In Humans And Often Attempt
11 Signs Of Self-Pity And How To Overcome It

6. Read this infographic

This is powerful and eye-opening:

11 Signs Of Self-Pity And How To Overcome It
11 Signs Of Self-Pity And How To Overcome It
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Aletheia Luna

Aletheia Luna is an influential spiritual writer whose work has changed the lives of thousands of people worldwide. After escaping the religious sect she was raised in, Luna experienced a profound existential crisis that led to her spiritual awakening. As a spiritual counselor and professional writer, Luna's mission is to help others become conscious of their entrapment and find joy, empowerment, and liberation in any circumstance. See more of her work at lonerwolf.comView Author posts