2. You are the giver in the relationship
A healthy relationship comprises both individuals catering to each other’s needs and looking out for one another. However, in a narcissistic relationship, you tend to be doing all the work. At the start, a narcissistic person will act pleased when you help them. However, soon they take you for granted and start to expect things from you. They will be ready to show their displeasure to you in case you cannot fulfill their desires. They start taking advantage of people who have poor boundaries set for themselves and prey on their willingness to please people.
3. You get fatigued and exhausted trying to please the narcissist
The longer you maintain a relationship with these individuals, the more responsibilities get heaped on you and less on part of the narcissist. When difficulties arise, that person expects you to solve and overcome them. From managing finances, household chores, children, and other responsibilities, you try hard to portray your love for them and show them that you are really trying and putting in effort. However, you forget to realize that it is only you who is giving their all.
4. You are willing to change yourself in order to please them
The first sign of this is when a narcissist expects you to change your appearance to what they like most. This can range from changing the way you dress to the way you talk or do your hair. This is usually a test for a narcissist to see if you are willing to bow down to their demands. A narcissistic person does this by comparing you to other people and telling you how they are better in some way or the other.
Then comes the emotional part where they expect you to change your thoughts, your beliefs and knowledge in a way which would suit them the most. They can start by telling you that you are overweight, you do not look good enough for them or indicate some things about you which you are not willing to change but are forced to do so. The end result is you are left feeling as if you are not good enough for them. And this is exactly what a narcissist wants to do by taking the upper hand and letting their partners doubt their own sense of self.
5. You develop cognitive dissonance
This is characterized by your mind experiencing two conflicting thoughts at the same time. You might feel that they love you but do not expect you to be happy. When you start a conversation with them about this, they simply flip the tables on you and start accusing you of being selfish and self-centered. Thus, these things do not make sense to you and you live in constant confusion and are never able to truly communicate what you feel.
6. They will use rejection as a means of testing you
Narcissists are insecure individuals who need constant assurance that they are being loved and cared for. They might text you back after a long time and rebuke you when you do the same. They will talk about other people in front of you and how they provide more to their lives than you. They will constantly remind you of your shortcomings and how there are numerous people in their lives and you are just one of them. This creates confusion in you as you thought you were special to them and will keep on trying to win their love or attention back.
7. They will try to induce a sense of shame in you
A narcissist will always try to project their negative emotions on the other person. They get insecure when their partner reaches a level of security or achieves something significant in their lives and see it as a potential threat to their relationship. For example, you getting a good job or hanging out with your friends might get them jealous and they will not fail to make you feel ashamed for this. This makes you retreat into your familiar mental agony and wonder what you did to make them upset.
8. They make you doubt your sanity
Most narcissists like to emotionally manipulate people. They get attracted to people who are kind, generous and peaceful. However, all they really want to do is erase those qualities from that individual. Over time, they continue to manipulate your feelings and when they start an argument, and you get angry, they pinpoint the blame on you, saying you are the one blowing up. This makes you doubt your sanity as you were a peaceful and kind person. Over time, you start to believe that you are the root of all problems and will try harder to please the narcissist, thus creating a vicious cycle.
9. You develop addiction and engage in self-destructive behavior
You develop addictions towards drugs, cigarettes or alcohol. This might be your coping mechanism for creating a safe haven for yourself, away from all that emotional anguish and trauma that the narcissist creates. You also stray away from your friends or family and make poor or no choices at all for your career, which suits the narcissist well as now you are vulnerable and only have them for your supposed comfort.
10. Anxiety and depression
Over a period of time, the narcissist supplier will develop anxiety from prolonged emotional abuse. The narcissist also takes advantage of this situation to present himself as the superior one in social situations while the supplier is in an emotional mess. This creates a negative association in their brains regarding social situations and they are forced to believe that they are the inferior ones in the relationship, which can also cause depression.