5. You’re incapable of managing emotions
Emotional intelligence is primarily about managing your own emotional state. It helps you determine when you need to calm down, when you need to express love and gratitude, and when you defend your emotions. “The ability to regulate emotions is one of the five critical components of emotional intelligence,” says Kendra.
When you have low emotional intelligence you will likely struggle with controlling your own emotions. Kendra adds that people with a low EQ often “have unexpected emotional outbursts that seem overblown and uncontrollable.” You might adversely react and lash out at someone without realizing what they are going through emotionally.
Seth J. Gillihan writes “If emotional intelligence isn’t your strength, you may be prone to losing your temper or not being able to recover when you get upset. Emotions that aren’t managed effectively will likely lead to problems in your relationships.”
6. You have difficulty with relationships
Low emotional intelligence can adversely affect your relationships significantly. Not only you will experience constant misunderstandings and conflict in your relationships, but you will also face problems with romantic attachments. Low EQ will lead to multiple breakups with romantic partners and friends. Moreover, your relationship with your family, coworkers and other social relationships might also be strained.
Kendra writes “Because low EQ people often come off as abrasive and unfeeling, they have difficulty maintaining friendships. Close friendships require a mutual give-and-take, sharing of emotions, compassion, and emotional support, all of which low EQ individuals struggle with.”
Here are some other signs of low emotional intelligence as explained by author and entrepreneur Muriel Maignan Wilkins in Harvard Business Review article:
- You feel frustrated and impatient most of the time as you think others don’t understand you.
- You believe others often overreact to your jokes and comments and that is surprising to you.
- You believe that being liked by others is unimportant and overrated.
- You are always prompt with your beliefs & assumptions and you don’t hesitate to defend them strongly.
- You hold yourself to very high standards and expect the same from others as well.
- Your first instinct and initial response when something goes wrong is to blame others. You fail to take any responsibility for your own mistakes.
- You become irritated and frustrated when your friends and family expect you to understand how they feel.
- You often end up offending and hurting people and you don’t exactly understand why and how.
- Your emotions often prevent you working productively and looking for probable solutions.
- You are incapable of coping with situations that are emotionally driven.
Strengthen your emotional intelligence
Can you identify with some or all of these signs of low emotional intelligence? Or do you recognize someone with these traits? If you wish to improve your emotional quotient, then the first thing you need to do is be aware of your own emotional intelligence. By taking a close, honest look at yourself you will immediately show emotional maturity. This is the first step towards strengthening your emotional intelligence.
Author Kerry Goyette, LCSW concludes “Our emotional intelligence exists within an ecosystem. And in order to achieve growth, we need to understand the individual motivators and perspectives of the people around us, as well as how the environment we’re in affects us altogether.” With time, effort, discipline and commitment you will be better able to manage your own emotions and connect with others.
Here is an interesting video that you may find helpful: