6. They Do Not Allow You To Express Negative Emotions.
Parents who fail to nurture their child’s emotional needs and make light of their negative emotions are setting up a future where the child will never be able to be assertive about their needs.
There is nothing wrong with helping your children focus on the positive aspect of a situation. However, being completely indifferent to a child’s negative feelings and emotional needs can lead them to suppress these valid emotional expressions, only to get them out in distorted ways.
This will only create an adult who is not adept at emotional regulation and handling negativity in their life.
7. They Scare Even Their Adult Children.
Respect needs to be earned. Fear cannot buy respect.
In fact, children who feel loved, supported, and connected are much more likely to be happy as adults.
Although implementing discipline of some sort is necessary, toxic parents use highly violent actions and words that are permanently damaging to the human psyche. Sometimes this scars the child forever and inserts fear in the child.
Children need not be afraid of their parents to be respectful of them. Every time their parents call them, they don’t need to be perspiring in fear of being thrashed.
8. They Always Put Their Feelings First.
Parents should not feel like they are the ultimate power exercisers of the family and only their needs, feelings should be prioritized.
But this antiquated way of thinking is not going to foster positive relationships between the parents and their children.
Even though parents do need to make the final decision about everything from dinner to vacation plans, it is necessary to be considerate about the feelings of every family member — including the children. The children’s opinions, ideas, and values are no less respectable than the parents’.
Toxic parents on the other hand will constantly force children to suppress their own feelings in order to appease their parents.
9. They Co-Opt Your Goals.
Did one of your parents become interested in everything you were doing to the point where they took over or even duplicated you?
This can seem like the actions of someone who is genuinely interested in their child’s life. But what it often does is making it harder for the child to actually meet their goals.
For example, if you have to sell 50 boxes of cookies at the same time that your mother decides to make cookies and pass them out to the neighbors, it is going to be a lot harder to hit your sales goal.
This behavior can derail you throughout your entire life if you allow your parent to keep getting away with it.
10. They Use Guilt And Money To Control You.
Every child has experienced a guilt trip from their parents at one point or the other, especially during arguments. But toxic individuals resort to this tactic on a regular basis.
Even as an adult, your parent might still be controlling you by providing for you in ways which might not be easy for you to return. If you fail to do as they expect, they will then try to make you feel guilty about it because of “everything they have done for you”.
Healthy parents know that children do not owe them a specific response in exchange for money or gifts, especially when these items were not demanded in the first place.
11. They Give You The Silent Treatment.
It might be difficult to communicate when one is frustrated and angry but shutting out a child with the silent treatment is very damaging and immature.
Dishing out this passive-aggressive treatment hampers any type of relationship. It makes the recipient feel pressured into fixing the situation, even when they didn’t do anything wrong.