3. She Dominates the House and Uses Devaluation to Get Her Way
The entire household tends to revolve around the Exhibitionist Narcissist mother’s wishes. Everything has to be the way she wants it to be, because she feels entitled to it.
People do what she wants because when they do not, she flies into a rage, devalues them, and generally makes life miserable for everyone until they give in.
She will continually belittle anyone who challenges her and when she does, she hits below the belt.
It is not uncommon for the child who displeases this type of mother to be told: “No man will ever marry you because you are so fat.” Or, “You will never amount to anything because you are a worthless, stupid idiot!”
Because the Exhibitionist Narcissist mothers sees her surroundings as reflection of her status in life, it may be extremely important to her that the house be decorated the way she wants and cleaned and maintained as perfectly as possible.
Conversely, if she is the type of woman who does not particularly care if her surroundings are clean and organized, she will be indifferent to the pleas of her family to take more of an interest in the home.
Usually she has managed to marry a man who will let her run the house and children however she wants.
Bob remembers that he was never allowed to have friends over because his mother was afraid that they might spill something on the rug or mess up her furniture.
His mother was more focused on the house looking perfect, than the rest of the family enjoying themselves at home.
One of his earliest memories is being screamed at and told that he was a “stupid, clumsy fool” when he accidentally spilled his milk at the kitchen table.
4. She Acts Selfishly
The needs and interests of the Exhibitionist Narcissist mother always come first.
If she works outside the home or is deeply involved in hobbies, everything else in the family will take second place.
She may think nothing of leaving her children behind when she takes long trips for work. She does not usually concern herself with planning the details of how they well be cared for in her absence.
Her assumption is that she is entitled to go and someone else in the family will do whatever is necessary to make that possible.
Or she may go back to school while her children are young without seriously thinking about how her absence will affect them or her husband.
She expects everyone to be just as excited about her plans for herself as she is.
If anyone in the family objects or points out how her plans negatively affect them, she is deeply insulted and likely to call them the “selfish” ones.
Because the Narcissistic mother is so self-centered, she is often oblivious to her children’s real needs.
If she likes seeing them dressed nicely, she may spend a lot of time and money on buying them clothing; while ignoring their pleas to play with them or listen to them practice piano.