You see, how the conversation is entirely centered around them and their concern. They don’t even care if you are interested to listen or not. Every time the other person is about to make a point, the narcissist will somehow turn up with another ‘very urgent’ topic to talk about. Often the urgency is nothing but that of control and attention.
A narcissist loves to be attended to. And if you are naturally a good listener, congratulations, you are officially the narc’s best friend now. They will make perfect use of your ability to their advantage.
A few minutes into the conversation with a narcissist, you will realize that the talk is happening from one end – the narcissist is the speaker and you are an absorbing sponge.
2. They Gaslight You
This is the worst way to get manipulated because the damage this technique does is beyond recoverable.
Gaslighting is a technique in which the narcissist, will very shrewdly manipulate the environment around you and then he/she will claim that your perception of the manipulated environment is all delusion and that you have “lost your mind”.
The worst part is, you will end up believing that you are going crazy. You will ultimately be manipulated into doubting your own memory, perception, sense and your own sanity. It is an insidious, pervasive form of abuse, meant to override and control the other person’s reality.
It can range from simple denying of some true facts, like “I never said that. Don’t make things up.” or it can be an elaborately staged situation to prove your insanity, like, “I told you about my solo trip months ago. We had an elaborate discussion about it. Now that you have forgotten it, you are making up excuses? Tell me that you never really wanted me to go.”
It is a double-edged sword that serves both the purpose of controlling and also helps them cover up their own mistakes, without being caught. In this situation, it is natural for you to feel like you have lost your mind and doubt your own self.
3. They love playing the victim role
A narcissist paints a picture of themselves as being the victim or innocent in all aspects. They will be offended by the truth. But what is done in the dark will come to light. Time has a way of showing people’s true colors. — Karla Grimes
Have you ever encountered a sympathy monger in your life?
A narcissist is one such individual who will never leave a chance to elaborately describe their miserable life stories.
They have been the victim to every type of torture, trauma, intimidation and struggles in life. What is the main intention of playing this victim role?
It gives them the chance to extract everything good from people around them. A narcissist will behave like a victim to gain sympathy, approval, affection and other advantages from people around them.
If you complain about their ill-treatment and neglectful behavior towards you in a relationship, they might end up telling you, “I have been abused and criticized throughout my entire life and now you have not left a chance to make me feel like am not enough for you too.”
4. They Guilt trip you
They will never leave a chance to find out faults in your behavior. Not just that. If you are gullible enough, they will not leave a chance to make you feel guilty for everything you have done.
Now the question is, “What have you done?”
You have actually done anything! It is they who will mistreat you, abuse you, neglect you, accuse you and the moment you repercute, you are the evil one, the toxic one totally destroying their mental peace.
Narcissists will destroy your life, erode your self-esteem, and do it with such stealth as to make you feel that you are the one that’s letting them down.
Sounds familiar? Run. Run as fast as you can and never look back.
5. They use aggression and violence to intimidate you
One common technique every narcissist use is aggression and violence. It can either be overt physical violence or covert passive aggressive techniques to exercise their control.
When a narcissist notices that all his mind games are failing, they will actively start intimidating you with threats of physical harm. They will at times use means like hitting, pulling, grabbing, pushing, slapping, kicking and even stabbing, to establish their point.