10 Signs It Wasn’t Love But a Trauma Bond

signs it wasnt love but a trauma bond

5. They Ignore Your Needs.

When the one you love ignores your needs, it is the worst feeling ever. You feel unwanted when you have always been there for them… through thick and thin.

It is no less than a trauma bond, when it is their chance to be there for you, they remain unbothered and oblivious. If you demand attention they act unaware. You’re not too needy, if they had paid attention to you, things would have been different.

Related: 4 Ways You Can Heal Trauma Bond After a Narcissistic Relationship

6. You Sacrifice Your Needs To Make Them Happy.

Have you tried winning your partner’s attention by buying them gifts that were over your budget? Or always kept their needs before yours?

Well, you’ve experienced a sign of a trauma bond where you try to win their affection all the time. Relationships should be equal. Both partners have to give the same amount of time and effort. If you were the only one making efforts then it lacked understanding and most importantly, respect.

You need to stop bending over backwards all the time to make them happy. The right person will appreciate you and will not allow you to sacrifice your own needs.

Related How to Cut an Unhealthy Bond with Someone

7. You Feel Like You’ve Had More Breakups And Patch-Ups Than Happy Moments Together.

Having serious fights sometimes in a long term relationship is common, we all go through ups and downs. However, if it becomes a pattern then it is a matter of concern.

You need to ask yourself if you deserve to be unhappy. Your relationship shouldn’t have more rough patches than happy moments. It doesn’t mean that you can’t handle tough situations but it simply means you are putting your mental health before anything else.

8. You Or Your Partner Experience Extreme Jealousy.

It’s normal to experience jealousy from time to time. But it surely becomes an issue when they are constantly jealous about certain aspects of your life. They keep checking who you follow on Instagram and stalk all your friends.

The problem becomes an issue when you both fail to acknowledge it. There is a difference between healthy jealousy and constantly doubting each other.

Related: 5 Reasons You Might Be Holding On To A Toxic Relationship

9. They Make Big Decisions Without Consulting You. 

Individuality in a relationship is essential. As an adult, you don’t need to seek anyone’s permission before making your own decisions. While dating, it is healthy for couples to discuss their plans and future ideals.

It becomes a trauma bond for you when they make important decisions without consulting or even telling you. For instance, withdrawing a lump sum amount of money from a joint bank account without even telling you.

Related: 11 Signs It’s An Emotionally Abusive Relationship

10. They Exhibit Controlling Behaviors.

We all try to control things in our lives, perhaps even our partners’, for the better. However, when you are forced to change certain aspects of your life, it can be unhealthy.

Being aggressively controlled in relationships is also abuse and it may not be physical. but many times you may experience emotional abuse in the form of gaslighting or insults.

Related: The 10 Types of Toxic Relationships You Should Avoid At All Costs

10 Signs It Wasn’t Love But a Trauma Bond
10 Signs It Wasn’t Love But a Trauma Bond

How To Overcome Trauma Bonds?

When you overcome trauma bonds and you see that what you were really holding on to, was not worth the trouble. You learn that love is supposed to feel wonderful and not like walking over eggshells.

All relationships teach us something, and some are positive while others are not. But, we still learn from those experiences so that we don’t make the same mistakes again in the future.

If you’re finding it difficult to let go, here’s how you can overcome trauma bonds that have hurt you the most:

  • Identify the red flags in a relationship, before it’s too late.
  • Eliminate those who disrespect or put you down.
  • Focus on your needs and emotional well-being.
  • Stand up for yourself, even if it means going against them.
  • Seek professional help and go for therapy if required.

Related: Trauma Bonding: Why We Stay In Abusive Relationships


signs it wasnt love but a trauma bond pinop
10 Signs It Wasn’t Love But a Trauma Bond
signs it wasnt love but a trauma bond pin
10 Signs It Wasn’t Love But a Trauma Bond
Pages: 1 2
nv-author-image

Daisy Simon

I enjoy reading and learning about new things in life. I found writing helpful when I began to explore about various topics on WordPress. My interests also lie with movies, lifestyle, and health.View Author posts