Is your man a player? First of all, what is a player? Thereโs a wide variety of definitions out there about what a player is but one part is pretty consistent.
A player is any guy who pretends to care about you, playing your emotions, typically, just to get in bed with you. Now, itโs not the sex thatโs the real issue, itโs the lying, the false front, and the generally unsavory character that this behavior demonstrates that is the real problem.
So Iโm going to give you five signs heโs a player before he does his damage. But first of all, why do guys do this in the first place?
Why Do Men Become Players?
The first reason is heโs usually love-starved.
Early on in a guyโs development, he craved the acceptance and love of his mom. Itโs almost a clichรฉ now in psychology circles. Itโs a deep childhood need that we canโt seem to shake. Even worse, if he didnโt get that love, a guy is going to spend a good part of his life seeking it out.
Frankly, if he didnโt get what he needed when he was a kid, heโs going to spend a great deal of his time acting out in search of it and thatโs turning him into a player.
The second reason why guys become players is they are underdeveloped.
Heโs still stuck in that mamaโs boy stage and he hasnโt broken out of it yet. This is the kind of guy where itโs usually a case of bad timing or that heโs never going to mature.
Related: 11 Ways To Spot A Keeper From Player In One Date: Tips From An Expert Celebrity Profiler
The third reason why men become players is that he needs validation for a weak ego.
If thereโs one part of this personality of a player that stands out, itโs that the player needs validation badly and he does it by trying to get sex. He needs to feel like heโs worth something, so he puts another notch on the headboard to make himself feel better.
Some of these guys just enjoy the feeling of proving that they can do what they were born to do, which is attracting a woman. They just donโt know how to do the next part, that tricky little relationship part.
So letโs jump into the first of these signs heโs a player.
5 Signs He’s Actually A Player
1. Heโs a sweet-talker.
The first sign heโs a player is that heโs slick and is a real sweet-talker. This guy comes across with a little bit of that used-car salesman vibe but he also manages to keep it in check with a little bit of the โaw-shucksโ Bill Clinton vibe.
He knows how to say just the right thing to you and itโs hard to resist his patter especially when he knows just the right bit of flattery to get you to bite your lip and throw caution to the wind.
Watch out for that sign heโs a player.
2. Heโs evasive.
The second sign heโs a player is he is slippery as an eel. This guy knows how to evade almost any attempt to pin him down. He doesnโt leave any trail. He seems to avoid all accountability while heโs at it.
Heโs also very good at hiding his phone and keeping your eyes off of all the texting heโs doing and you never really know where he is or who is out with.
He knows how to duck and weave his way out of almost any situation often with the perfect excuse. And itโs an excuse youโre going to find yourself wanting to believe more than you really believe.
Related: The Kind Of Fuckboy He Is Based On His Zodiac Sign
3. He pressures you for sex.
This is a BIG sign heโs a player.
The player pressures you for sex. He just canโt seem to wait to get in the sack with you. If he handles it smoothly, itโs going to feel like an overwhelming lust for you that you might find irresistible and heโll be overcome with desire.
If youโre honest, you know what, that will probably turn you on. Itโs actually very appealing when a guy looks like heโs that much under your spell.
He’ll put a lot of uncomfortable pressure on you to sleep with him.
You might even want to go for it which is perfectly fine until you realize that itโs all you might get from him.
Itโll feel different than your normal lust because it wonโt feel like heโs drawn to you magnetically, it just feels like one of those wham-bam-thank-you-maโam kinds of situations. Orโฆ maybe heโll try to get you drunk and bypass all that messy stuff in between. He just wants to trigger you to be as impulsive as quickly as he can.
Related: How To Find Out If a Man Really Wants A Committed Relationship With You
4. Itโs been more than 6 months and you havenโt met his family.
The fourth sign heโs a player is itโs been over six months and thereโs still no sign of you meeting his family. If youโve been dating this dude after half a year and you still havenโt met his mom and sheโs still above ground and sheโs somewhere in your part of the country, something is up.
In this day and age, he could at least Skype you two together on a video call.
A player is not going to want you to meet his family. As a friend of mine was once told that moms get tired of the endless parade of women. So heโll keep you at armโs length hoping that you donโt push too hard.
โฆAnd if you do push, heโll eventually just vaporize.
5. Things between you donโt progress past sex.
Sure the boinking is fantastic but you might be mistaking sexual intimacy for love. Among my female clients, this is a very common mistake they make with men. The intensity and passion in the bedroom is often misunderstood as being a real love connection. This creates an intense feeling of, โThis is it! Heโs the oneโ from the woman while the guy simply chalks it up to being chemistry.
This is really important. Most men are able to separate sexual intimacy from the deeper emotional connection of a relationship and this creates a struggle for the woman. She feels that thereโs love between them when thereโs really only lust.
Now after all this talk about players, I have to warn youโ and this is going to come as a shock to most womenโ most guys arenโt able to be players, they simply havenโt got what it takes. And, youโre only going to run into a player typically because heโs more likely to approach you and chat you up.
The genuinely nice guys, the good guys out there, wellโฆ theyโre a little scared. Theyโre a little afraid of rejection and theyโre often very shy. So, what happens is players are the ones with the balls to come up and talk to you which means youโre going to run into them more often.
Of course, if you find yourself running into guys that are consistently refusing to commit or your stay in a relationship, you have to look at the dynamics of your dating style and how it works with guys.
Sometimes because of bad information that you got from your mom or lack of good education and relationships, women will find the man sheโs with growing cold and distant. It often looks like heโs a player when heโs actually not.
Related: 5 Underlying Reasons Why Players Are Mentally Unstable People To Date
Men give off very specific signals that will tell you immediately if they’re a player or if they might be “The One”.
If you want to know exactly what heโs actually looking for from you, you have to know how to read his signals. Find out if he could love you forever or heโs just looking for a good time.
Written by Carlos Cavallo Originally appeared Attract The One
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