9 Warning Signs Of A Controlling Boyfriend

5. Constantly doubting and questioning you.

You tell him over the phone that you are going to your dance class and he calls up around 10 times, every 10 mins later to “check on you if you are fine”.

I tell you, he is not concerned about your safety, he is simply insecure. 

 Everything looks fine within limits. When it exceeds limits it becomes a red flag, shoved right into your face! 

Initially, 10-20 times calls will look like they are dying without you, missing every molecule of you. But over time, he will start crossing borders to ask you about the route you took, or if someone is accompanying you, or even might end up asking you if you lied to him about where you are going or not.

Does this sound hot anymore?

What you can do about it: 

Never entertain questions which feed his insecurities.

Also, do not answer questions which you think might be off the track leading to doubting and blaming you for things you never did. Make it clear to him that you are genuinely loyal and you wish to be respected for that. 

The more you answer his questions, the worse will his treatment be because you are providing him with what he wants – control over you.

6. Stalking you.

man stalking

The worst type of manipulation that your controlling boyfriend can implement on you is stalking you, be it in person or on social media. 

Suppose you informed your boyfriend about a sudden plan that you have made with your girlfriends after your office. Did he mysteriously drop by your office premises during your end office hours, to give you a surprise visit? Were you secretly upset about his behaviour? 

If you express disappointment for this, he will go a step further and successfully make you feel guilty about your behaviour. 

Does he often drop by randomly to surprise you? You might like it a few times in the beginning, before the ‘surprises’ starts becoming an ‘obvious habit’.

He might even end up creating fake ids on social media to find out “what you are up to”. When every of your single move is being tracked, it counts among manipulation and emotional abuse

What you can do about it:

Let him know that his weird stalking behaviours are not a secret anymore. Don’t play along.

Tell him straight up how these stalking is turning out to be toxic for the relationship. If he cares enough, he will immediately stop.


7. Throwing temper tantrums if you do not reply to him immediately. 

A controlling boyfriend will always get hostile if any of his phone calls or texts get unanswered. It will, more often than not, be absolutely unintentional on your part. Your phone might be on silent mode, or you might be stuck in a situation, or you might have lost your phone altogether! Whatever might be the reason, he will be furious if he does not get his way.

A controlling boyfriend will never consider anything more important than himself in your life.

What you can do about it:

Again, do not feed his immaturity. Explain to him that there will be situations where something else other than him will be a priority. If he understands you, well and fine. If he doesn’t, he’s not worth your valuable time and efforts.

Shreyasi Debnath
An editor and writer keeping keen interest in painting, creative writing and reading. I did my Masters in Clinical and Counselling Psychology and have been a counselling psychologist at a primary school for the past 1 year. I love doing absolutely anything that mends a mind and soothes a soul. Most often than not, I ponder over to come up with poems. A wandering soul in search for meaning.
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