What to Do
There are steps you can take to protect yourself from becoming a victim of a narcissist’s games and changing the relationship dynamic. If it doesn’t improve, it may take courage to leave, but it’s painful then being left.
1. Knowledge is power. Not only information about narcissism but learn about your date before you start fantasizing a romantic future and give away your heart. Pay attention to words and actions over time, not just flattery and words of love. (See “How to Spot a Narcissist.”) If you’re uneasy or suspicious, trust your gut.
2. Walk away from a date who doesn’t respond, seems too busy, preoccupied, or interested in you.
3. Talk about distancing behavior. Share your feelings, and find out what’s going on. You may learn that your date is seeing other people, just wants to have “fun,” or doesn’t want a commitment.
4. Take control and confront bad behavior, such as unreliability, criticism, and rudeness. This requires the ability to trust your feelings, to be assertive, and to set boundaries. Confrontations aren’t ultimatums. Instead, learn to do it strategically. Get Dealing with a Narcissist.
5. Don’t be available 24/7. If you’re a man, restrain yourself, and don’t call or text multiple times a day in the beginning of a relationship. If you’re a woman, do not chase a man, period! Stop calling or texting him first. If he disappears, you can confront that, but the bottom line is that his behavior speaks volumes. Just move on. Remember, not only are there other fish in the sea, this one is toxic!
© Darlene Lancer 2018
Related Video: 12 Red Flags You Are Being Psychologically Manipulated
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Written by Darlene Lancer JD, MFT
Originally appeared on WhatIsCodependency.com
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