You start talking to this new guy and things are going great.
One night you decide to mention you are best friends with your ex. This new guy is probably going to think twice about whether or not you are over your ex.
Most men will find this to be a turn-off and possibly even pull away.
And on the flip side, what if this new guy tells you he is best friends with his ex?
- How will that make you feel?
- Will you be able to trust he has your best interest?
- Does this make you think differently about him as a potential partner?
So, when it comes to pursuing your relationship goals, thinking from a “WE” mindset will be vital to building an everlasting loving relationship. If you can only see things from a “ME” perspective, then it will be challenging to understand what a man wants and how to keep intriguing him for years to come.
4. Are you planning on hiding this friendship from your new boyfriend?
Hiding an old flame as a friend is a recipe for disaster. More than likely, you are holding onto this old connection to toot your own horn, as a security blanket, or to potentially run back to him when something new does not work out. If you are holding on for your own insecurities, then you may want to take a break from dating and focus on you.
Healthy relationships come from two healthy individuals who value similar goals and unconditionally support one another in their endeavors. If you need a man in your life to sustain your emotional health, then every relationship yet to come will be emotionally difficult. You are bound to experience the same type of relationship, only the face will change.
When it comes to relationships, having healthy boundaries will support a firm foundation. If you are being dishonest from the beginning, you are more likely to burn the trust and lose out on a healthy connection. Having trust is a must for any connection to function and grow so you don’t fall through the cracks during a minor miscommunication.
Remember, staying true to who you are will be imperative to meeting your needs and achieving your love goals. Keeping an ex in your life can potentially hurt your chances at having a relationship you desire and deserve. And if there is one thing you can do for yourself, it is to find the courage to let go of the old in order to attract what you are looking for. Commit to yourself first and foremost because you are worthy of love and a healthy relationship.