It had been a very unstable relationship, with more hurting than healing along the way, in their time together. She did her part to make him want to pull away- more than he did her, overall. But after the breakup, she realized that from an emotional standpoint, he gave his lashings in smaller and more personalized attacks than she had ever done to him.
She played games, projected onto him, and felt she could do anything and still get away with having him forgive her each time; which worked…for a while. It got to the point of him shutting down, closing out, and breaking up with her, just so he didn’t have to communicate or express his emotions about how her actions made him feel. Back and forth, on and off for years…he tried to make it work, but soon it was just trying to put on a good face for everyone else.
Looking back, she realized he made her open up to him (which because of her past, was hard for her to do) and in doing so, if he was in the wrong or she had something negative to say, he always twisted it, and she was the one who was begging him to forgive her. Roller coasters, tidal waves and a road that leads to nowhere—
The real end had finally come; but this time, she wasn’t the one who was begging.
She found her backbone, got more confident in herself, figured out what she deserved, and started to make statements instead of asking questions. When all was said and done, she stood in the doorway, bags in hand, and ready to leave. She turned around to face him, looked him straight in the eyes knowing she will never get an answer to her one final question—
“I never did stand a real chance with you, did I?”