4. Be clear and specific.
It can be challenging and uncomfortable for everyone involved when transitioning from no boundaries to boundary setting. Some people will respect your boundaries straight away, while others will require time to adjust.
Being clear and specific about what you need and when will help the adjustment period. For example, requesting two hours of uninterrupted time.
You must also comply with your boundary. Turn your phone off so that there are no incoming calls or texts. If someone knocks on the door, don’t answer. Or head out of the house to a park or a quiet coffee shop.
If you break your boundary, especially in the beginning, it will take longer for everyone (including yourself) to adjust.
Looking to know more about setting boundaries? Read The Art of Setting Boundaries
5. Learn to say no.
Learning to say “no” to things that make you feel overwhelmed, or to spending time with people who or in places that rapidly drain your energy, is essential for setting healthy boundaries.
Saying “no” will be particularly difficult if you are declining something you have always said “yes” to. Again, this is about setting healthy boundaries for you.
Introvert or not, before you commit consider:
Your intention—consider if you’re saying yes out of guilt or a sense of obligation or are you saying yes because it’s something that you sincerely want to do.
Your gut reaction—if you listen to your body you will instantly be able to gauge whether it’s something you want to do. It’s ok to decline things you don’t enjoy or simply don’t have the energy for.
Your schedule—it’s ok to say “let me get back to you” so that you have the time you need to take a look at your schedule and see if you have the energy (not just the time) to fit something else in. Even if it’s something you typically enjoy, but if you’re already drained, it won’t be the same.
Yes, there will be times when you will need to compromise your boundaries. For example, when a loved one is ill. The goal is to ensure compromise is the exception to your boundaries, not the rule.
Setting boundaries delivers an immediate sense of ease, and it gets easier with practice. Your extra time and space can improve your quality of life in every way. Here’s to your healthy new boundaries!
If you want to know more about setting boundaries as an introvert, then check this video out below: