5. Your body image and self-acceptance
Believing you must change your body image to win another’s love does not serve you. Your decision to do whatever you wish must be for you and for your own health and well-being — not for another. It must be your conscious choice for how you want to be.
There is an unrealistic expectation in society that a woman must be a certain size, must dress a certain way, and must have certain material things to be worthy of attracting love. The media flaunts images of models who are sizes 0, 2, and 4, but in actual fact, 80 percent of women in the world are between sizes 14 and 22.
Accept your body as it is and be comfortable in your own skin. Language is very powerful because it’s a declaration of what you believe to be true, so only speak kind words about yourself to yourself. The man who is worthy of you will be one who loves the entire package you’re in without wanting to change a thing.
6. Chemistry, compatibility, and communication
It does not matter how cute or educated and successful your partner is; if you don’t feel the kind of sexual attraction that gives you that funny feeling in the pit of your stomach when you are in the same room, then you lack chemistry.
Are you compatible as far as your morals and ethics, values and beliefs, religion and politics, educational background, and financial standing? All of these contribute to sustaining a strong bond and friendship. Communication is extremely important. Beyond what you see outwardly, you need to enjoy each other’s company and be able to communicate openly and engage in interesting conversations.
7. Your inner peace and joy
Never allow anyone to rob you of your joy. You have the freedom to sing out loud, paint your walls, write poetry, read whatever you fancy until the wee hours of the morning if you wish, love and laugh, sip your favorite wine, play your favorite music and dance, meditate when you want to, do yoga, do whatever it takes to bring inner peace and make you whole.
There is nothing worse than coming to the end of life and realizing that you wasted your life living on someone else’s terms, always tiptoeing, afraid to laugh, to sing, or to just be silly.
8. Your expectations for yourself and your life
Follow the path that makes the most sense for you, and always be true to yourself. Just as everyone has dreams and struggles, you too have yours. Living someone else’s idea for your life can result in resentment and misery.
Always be yourself and walk your own path. Your life goals matter, so make sure to communicate them clearly and allow your partner to share his as well so that you may support each other toward their fulfillment.
9. Your expectations of his commitments
A man who does not live up to the commitments he makes shows he lacks responsibility. In order to build a trusting relationship, your partner must live up to his commitments.
Does he do what he says he is going to? Does he show up when he is supposed to, or at least call ahead if he is running late? Or does he make you wait constantly? A man shows his love by the commitments he willingly makes and keeps.
10. Putting up with addictions of any kind
Addiction is anything that takes a person away from handling the normal responsibilities of daily life. There are many kinds of addictions — drinking, smoking pot, gambling, shopping, computer games, pornography — anything and everything that takes the person away from being present, from being calm or authentic.
Addicted people are unable to show up, to handle stuff, to be responsive in a loving way to your needs and requests. They avoid issues that need their attention and live in a world of make-believe. They become overly angry and full of rage if they are deprived or if they are in the throes of their addiction. Their behavior easily and often turns abusive.
There is not much you can do, nothing you can fix. This is their battle, one they must wish to overcome and master, and one they must be committed to overcoming. You can’t change them, and you can only be present and support them from afar, if possible until they are completely healed. Know that you are powerless over what that person is going to do.