Schadenfreude: The Truth Behind Why Women Say No To Entitled Men

Schadenfreude: The Truth Behind Why Women Say No To Entitled Men

Another kind of schadenfreude is present in the following seemingly odd claim of a divorcee: “When I realized that my lover is still attracted to me, it was easier for me to release him.” The pleasure of this woman in her lover’s misfortune is based more on the enhancement of her self-esteem than on the misdeeds of her lover. Like other people, she cannot bear the thought of being abandoned by someone. Hence, when her comparative self-esteem is determined by the other’s misfortune, such misfortune is perceived as deserved.

Do you think men are bad with women’s rejections? Read 8 Reasons Why Men Should Deal With Romantic Rejection Better

 

2. Moral value

“We all have enough strength to endure the misfortunes of others.” —Francois de La Rochefoucauld

The philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer maintained that to feel envy is human, but to enjoy other people’s misfortunes is diabolical—the worst trait in human nature, closely related to cruelty and sadism.

I completely disagree. Schadenfreude is light years away from cruelty and sadism. It concerns minor and deserved misfortunes; it is generally a private enjoyment lacking any element of severe mocking or humiliation. Moreover, it is not concerned with those in an inferior position to us, but rather with those who are superior or similar to us.

Would you consider the lively married woman mentioned above, who smiles while politely saying “no” to a peacocking man, a sadist? Most of us would say that her behavior is close to being virtuous—after all, it feels like justice has been served. Schadenfreude may not be a virtue, but it would be hard to argue that it’s a serious vice.

Do you think women should care more about what entitled men think about them? Read 4 Things Women Don’t Owe To Men

There are many good reasons to say “no” to men. For example, the idea that this response will push away only unsuitable men who are only looking for immediate satisfaction—the good ones will stay; that it will make you more attractive, thereby generating a greater challenge, and that being authentic can be attractive. Although I did not focus here on these reasons, they can further explain why women enjoy saying “no” to entitled men (in a manner that they do not feel when saying “no” to less attractive men). Rejecting entitled men may enhance not only the women’s self-esteem but also the way men evaluate them. And this seems like a very persuasive reason for feeling pleasure while rejecting these men.

As apparent, there are lots of reasons why women choose to say no to entitled men. Feeding their ego further is something that most women do not indulge in nowadays, and that’s why in such cases, schadenfreude is perfectly justified.

If you want to know more about why women say no to entitled men, then you might like this video:


Written by Aaron Ben-Zeév Ph.D.
Originally appeared in Psychology Today

Schadenfreude: The Truth Behind Why Women Say No To Entitled Men

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