3. They falsely believe all men/women “are the same” (meaning: bad).
With the anger that can accompany some break-ups—or if they’ve had a number of bad relationships in a row—they might try to convince themselves that all men/women are bad. It’s definitely safer that way; meaning with that mentality, they won’t need to invest, trust, or develop an intimate relationship with anyone again.
But it’s not healthy, and it doesn’t acknowledge that relationships are made up of two people. Even if they were the worst partner possible, they had their own contributions to what failed—even if their only “contributions” were that they ignored red flags, stayed too long, and/or allowed themselves to be in a disconnected relationship.
For those people who have been in multiple bad relationships: You haven’t had “five bad relationships in a row”. In reality, you’ve had ONE bad relationship FIVE TIMES.
My advice: Get out of the pattern. Get into you. Change your environment, and you’ll change your selection process.
Other people fool themselves and embrace bitterness with statements like, “There’s no such thing as love. I just want to be single.” But what they are truly saying is, “I’ve been hurt and I’m not willing to put myself out there to be hurt again.”
What they need to realize: Not everyone is the same. All relationships are different. The Lesson: Love is great, but they have to love and trust THEMSELVES before someone else can.
Bottom Line: Moving past a bad relationship takes a concerted effort to: accept (what happened and your part in things), forgive (yourself and/others), and change (course, behavior, location).
In the end, it becomes a simple choice: Either you choose to live back where you WERE… or you choose to live where you ARE.
And to those women who think “all men are the same”, I offer you some straight-up thoughts…