2. Journal your feelings and thoughts about what happened to you and why.
Pour your heart out. Take the time to write about what a fool you were, what you wish had happened instead. Get it all out on paper. Take time to be thorough and expressive. Cry, rant, and swear while you are doing it.
Then, once you are done—stand over the wastebasket and slowly and methodically rip that paper into teeny, tiny pieces. Watch it fall into the wastebasket as if you were at some sort of a ceremony. Then, wipe your hands and rub them clean of the event. It is gone. Put the waste into your trash, and say goodbye to it forever.
When it wants to return to your mind, picture those pieces of tiny paper being incinerated in some trash pile somewhere far, far away.
3. Talk to a friend – not about the sadness of the event, but about what you have learned from it and what you are willing and able to do differently in your life.
Find a buddy who cares about you and will listen to you as you explain a bit of background (assuming they do not know), and then share what steps you will take or are taking to improve, change, or enhance for the future. Be focused on what you are taking away that is positive and beneficial and not what dragged you down in the past.
Most of the best life lessons come from some negative experience, assuming that you learn from it and do something different next time.
4. Help someone who has suffered through a similar situation – focus your attention outside of yourself.
Some of the best rape counselors are those who experienced the horror firsthand themselves. They are empathic and understanding because they’ve been there. Someone who has been cheated on, or robbed, or taken for granted, will benefit from the wisdom and support of someone who has lived through the same sort of thing.
There is comfort in knowing you’re not alone. When you give the gift of support to another, you actually gain a huge gift in return—the focus is on them, and your mind can’t spend its time ruminating over what’s happened to you.
The experience happened. You can’t change the course of history, but you can take charge of your ruminating mind and change your present, and your future.
Check out Beverly Flaxington’s best-selling book on Amazon.
Written By Beverly Flaxington
Originally Appeared In Psychology Today
The more you give in to negative thoughts and indulge in overthinking about the bad things that have happened to you in the past, the more disturbed you will feel. Giving your negative thoughts too much power can prove disastrous for you mentally, and psychologically.
Whenever you have trouble dealing with your ruminating mind, come back to these pointers as these can help you deal with your negative thinking in a much better and healthier way.