The Ruminating Mind: 4 Steps To Deal With Negative Thoughts

 / 

, ,

Rumination often involves having recurrent negative thoughts or memories. Having a constant ruminating mind and negative thoughts can spell trouble for your mental health, and inherent peace of mind as such thoughts interfere with your daily life and can lead to depression.

Remember the time a friend did you wrong? A boss was unfair to you? Someone took something that belonged to you? You were abandoned or ignored? You encountered hard times? You were scared?

Yes, you remember these times, because your ruminating mindโ€”that runs loops over and over againโ€”probably wonโ€™t let you forget these incidents. It isnโ€™t bad enough that you experienced whatever the negative trauma was in real-time, but rather than letting go and moving on by acknowledging it is over, your mind continues to hold on and review it time and time again.

Perhaps you focus on what you wish you had saidโ€”and you practice your presentation or pitch to your imaginary audience. Maybe you vow you will never let yourself be vulnerable or in that situation again, and you take mental steps to ensure that doesnโ€™t happen. Maybe you secretly plot and plan how you will get back at someone and exact your revenge.

Whatever you plan and consider, chances are good, it is all happening inside of your head, and your mind is pulling you back to that place and event and refusing to let it go.

Many people relive traumas, such as cruelty in the form of emotional or physical abuse. The attacker may be long gone, even buried in the ground, but the raw experience of the abuse lingers. You can see their eyes, their facial expression, and remember exactly how it felt to be so vulnerable and afraid.

Many people who have lived through war or life-threatening events, such as car accidents or escaping from a deadly fire, have PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) continually dragging them back into the experience.

Related: A Psychologist Explains How You Can Rewire Your Brain To Get Rid Of Negative Thoughts

Itโ€™s as if the mind cannot get over the negative experience and needs to make you relive it time and time again to somehow find a way to heal it. The problem is, going back to the experience in your mind rarely fixes it; rather, it cements the experience and reminds you frequently of what youโ€™ve lived through.

If your condition is as serious as PTSD, or you are ruminating in a manner where you believe you could harm yourself or someone else, seek professional medical help right away. This article is not meant to cure a deep psychological disorder.

However, if your situation is not as grave, but it is irritating and hampering your ability to enjoy a full and happy life, and you are living in a negative place inside your head, consider taking some steps to help yourself function differently:

Here Are 4 Steps That Can Help You Deal With Your Ruminating Mind

1. Remember that images in your mind, or words you tell yourself, or stories you makeup or come to believe, are all just that – images and stories your mind has made up.

Yes, you experienced the event, but the event is no longer realโ€”your mind just continues to relive it. This is often called negative self-talk. Itโ€™s where you focus on something past or in the future and donโ€™t allow yourself to be objective and data-centric about what is happening in the now.

The event is gone. It was tough, it hurt you, it was scary and upsetting, but you lived through it. When your mind tries to revisit it and drag you back, rememberโ€”it isnโ€™t real anymore. Force yourself to focus on something outside of yourself. Become aware of your body, your environment, your facial expression, your surroundings.

The mind canโ€™t focus on two things at once, so drag your mind back into the now and let the past experience recede into the background.

Related: 5 Tips To Help Get Rid Of Negative Thoughts

2. Journal your feelings and thoughts about what happened to you and why.

Pour your heart out. Take the time to write about what a fool you were, what you wish had happened instead. Get it all out on paper. Take time to be thorough and expressive. Cry, rant, and swear while you are doing it.

Then, once you are doneโ€”stand over the wastebasket and slowly and methodically rip that paper into teeny, tiny pieces. Watch it fall into the wastebasket as if you were at some sort of a ceremony. Then, wipe your hands and rub them clean of the event. It is gone. Put the waste into your trash, and say goodbye to it forever.

When it wants to return to your mind, picture those pieces of tiny paper being incinerated in some trash pile somewhere far, far away.

3. Talk to a friend – not about the sadness of the event, but about what you have learned from it and what you are willing and able to do differently in your life.

Find a buddy who cares about you and will listen to you as you explain a bit of background (assuming they do not know), and then share what steps you will take or are taking to improve, change, or enhance for the future. Be focused on what you are taking away that is positive and beneficial and not what dragged you down in the past.

Most of the best life lessons come from some negative experience, assuming that you learn from it and do something different next time.

Related: 11 Ways To Put An End To Overthinking

4. Help someone who has suffered through a similar situation – focus your attention outside of yourself.

Some of the best rape counselors are those who experienced the horror firsthand themselves. They are empathic and understanding because theyโ€™ve been there. Someone who has been cheated on, or robbed, or taken for granted, will benefit from the wisdom and support of someone who has lived through the same sort of thing.

There is comfort in knowing youโ€™re not alone. When you give the gift of support to another, you actually gain a huge gift in returnโ€”the focus is on them, and your mind canโ€™t spend its time ruminating over whatโ€™s happened to you.

The experience happened. You canโ€™t change the course of history, but you can take charge of your ruminating mind and change your present, and your future.

Check out Beverly Flaxingtonโ€™s best-selling book on Amazon.


Written By Beverly Flaxington
Originally Appeared In Psychology Today

The more you give in to negative thoughts and indulge in overthinking about the bad things that have happened to you in the past, the more disturbed you will feel. Giving your negative thoughts too much power can prove disastrous for you mentally, and psychologically.

Whenever you have trouble dealing with your ruminating mind, come back to these pointers as these can help you deal with your negative thinking in a much better and healthier way.

Ruminating Mind Deal Negative Thoughts pin
Ruminating Mind Pin
The Ruminating Mind Pin

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply



Up Next

6 Benefits Of Walking: Why It’s One Of The Best Things You Can Do For Your Mental Health

Brilliant Benefits Of Walking For Your Mental Health

Walking is so underrated when it comes to ensuring mental well-being. There are so many powerful benefits of walking that can do wonders for our mental and emotional health. This article is going to talk about some of the best mental health benefits of walking.

Boost your mood, energy level, confidence, and more simply by getting your steps in.

Taking a brisk walk is a great way to clear your head, calm your mood, and keep you healthy. It may seem simple, but walking can have a powerful effect on your mental health, and the good news is that itโ€™s free.



Up Next

Neuro-Ninja Training: 10 Indoor Brain Strengthening Games For A Sharp Mind

Powerful Brain Strengthening Games For A Sharp Mind

Do you want to exercise your brain in the most fun, interesting, and most importantly, enjoyable way possible? Then you have come to the right place! Keeping your mind sharp and your brain alert is one of the most powerful things you can do. That’s why, we have compiled a list of brain strengthening games for you to try.

These brain strengthening games will boost your brain, keep you entertained and also increase your intellect. No more of those boring games to improve memory and concentration, because these are designed to be fun and exciting.

So, ready to explore how you can train your brain with games? Le



Up Next

15 Provocative Questions To Trigger Curiosity And Help In Creative Problem-Solving

Provocative Questions To Trigger Curiosity

If you are have ever thought how to trigger your curiosity, then you have come to the right place. Embracing curiosity is one of the best things you can do for yourself, and the curiosity questions mentioned in this article will help you achieve that goal. Check out these 15 questions to trigger curiosity and see how it works for you!

KEY POINTS

The ability to be curious generally declines in adulthood.

Curiosity is a portal to increased innovation.

Curiosity can be relearned with the right questions.

Today’s curiosi



Up Next

How Do Some People ‘Hear’ Colors And ‘See’ Sounds? โ€” A Look Into Synesthesia

What Is Synesthesia? Interesting Types Of Synesthesia?

What does the color red sound like? Only those with the power of synesthesia can truly โ€œhearโ€ it. It is a secret power that about 4% of people have โ€“ their senses make unexpected connections.

Researchers are now diving into this new world to understand more about these sensory experiences where one is hearing colors and seeing sounds. So let’s dive in and learn what is synesthesia actually.

What Is Synesthesia?



Up Next

What Is Counterfactual Thinking: The Psychological Forces and Life-Altering Impact of ‘What Ifs

What Is Counterfactual Thinking? Psychological Insights

Have you ever wondered, ‘If only I had done something differently, then the results would be different’? This thought process is an example of counterfactual thinking in action. Understanding what is counterfactual thinking involves exploring our minds’ ‘what if’ scenarios.”

We will look at four real-life situations that show how thinking about “what if” can change how we see ourselves and the world around us.

But before exploring the examples, let us first understand what is counterfactual thinking.

What is Counterfactual Thinking?   



Up Next

Understanding The Mind Body Connection Definition: 3 Compelling Benefits of This Holistic Approach to Well-Being

Mind Body Connection Definition | Powerful Benefits

Have you ever felt that the constant noise of modern life drowns out the whispers of your inner self? By understanding the mind-body connection definition you will be able to forge a path of self-discovery and holistic well-being.

Mind Body Connection Definition  

The mind body connection is a fundamental concept that emphasizes the link between our mental and physical well-being. It’s all about understanding that our minds and bodies are not separate entities but work together as a unified system.



Up Next

Understanding Solastalgia Meaning: The Subtle yet Profound Emotional Impact of Environmental Change

Solastalgia Meaning: Environmental Change's Emotional Impact

Have you ever felt a profound sense of loss and disconnection, even while standing in a place you once called home? It is more than just nostalgia! Understanding solastalgia meaning helps us to understand our relationship with our environment.

We will delve into three primary causes of solastalgia. These insights will not only inform but also leave you with a deep appreciation for the relationship between your emotions and the ever-changing landscapes of your lives.

What is Solastalgia?  

Solastalgia, a term born from the fusion of ‘solace’ and ‘algia,’ carries profound significance in our understanding of the emotional impact of environmental chang