Maybe if we stopped looking at these as burdens and started seeing them as an honor and as something to look forward to, we might love better.
4. ‘I need freedom and space.’
Personal space is one of the most important traits of a happy and long-lasting relationship. But was it really space you needed when you and that cute guy started texting while you and your boyfriend were on a break? Was it really freedom when you told your girlfriend you were going out ‘just for lunch’ with a girl who was clearly into you? We tend to use freedom and space as an excuse to flirt around and explore our options. My Chinese mother often uses this proverb (which sounds absurd when directly translated): Riding a cow while looking for a horse. It simply means you make do with what you have while looking for something better. Our generation often settles for less, then leave our partner because we’re unsatisfied. Wouldn’t we have longer, better relationships if we didn’t just settle?
We have ‘a thing’ with someone just so we aren’t lonely. We get together even though we know very well that we won’t last very long. It has become acceptable to be in a relationship just because. And when we’ve found a better person, we use freedom – or the lack of – as an excuse to leave the relationship. If you can’t accept that freedom and space have to come with boundaries when you’re in a relationship, you shouldn’t be in one.
These acceptable reasons have become so loosely used that our generation has turned them into unacceptable excuses and ruined love with these excuses. Real relationships are hard to come by, and love is losing its value. Look within before jumping into something that should be more than casual. Don’t ruin love for the next person.
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