You Must Be the Change You Want to See in Others
If you are the only one in your family who wants change, then you must be that change whether or not others are yet playing by your higher standards. This means that you must teach others how to treat you, and enforce those boundaries, over and over, until a higher standard is established.
Do Not React
Do not react with the same energy that you are reacting to. In other words, if someone is rude, don’t be rude in return. You cannot call someone on their behavior by acting in the same way. Again, you must be the change you want to see in others.
Some Words of Wisdom
When you hold someone accountable, don’t judge them. Instead, kindly, but firmly, point out the inappropriate behavior. Maybe you say something like:
- Are you having a bad day or do you need some time alone?
- Is there something you want to talk about?
- Please don’t speak to me that way.
- I will not be around you, when you are in a bad mood.
- Maybe you don’t realize it, but that sounds (or feels) disrespectful.
It is important to be clear about the behavior but be careful not to contribute to the problem by getting into an argument or debate. The point is to clean up negative energy – not add to it.
It’s Okay to Disagree
It is not that everyone always has to agree, but when family members do disagree, it is important that respect and compassion are the underlying emotions and all conversations and connections originate from that clean and clear space.
Share This Article
Sharing this article with your family could be a really good starting point for change – so that everyone can get on the same page, with a positive approach to bettering family dynamics. If you need more help, consider consulting a family therapist or coach.
Yes, it does take conscious effort and energy to raise your family to a higher vibration and a more harmonious way of living, and it does take time, but nothing is of greater value. It takes a great deal more time, energy and effort to tolerate negative and disempowering behavior than to actually change it.
We often refer back to the night of Travis’ intervention. He’ll be the first to say that it wasn’t pleasant, but he is so grateful that we had the love and courage to ask him to wake up and be responsible with how he shows up in the family and in the world. He is a changed man because of it. I am also grateful that I have a family who holds me to a high standard of behavior because it empowers me to be the best me that I can be.
It was one step at a time but, I can honestly say, I now live in the most beautiful, harmonious and awake family, where everyone is responsible with their words, behavior and energy. Instead of “putting out emotional fires” or managing endless disagreements, we now come together through love, appreciation and collaboration. I am beyond grateful.
As we elevate our families to a higher level of consciousness, we contribute to the evolution of humanity. Change doesn’t just happen one person at a time, it happens one family at a time.