3. “The Mixed Messages Woman”
This is the woman who falls somewhere in between “The Princess” and “The Feminist.” As such, they confuse you (read: frustrate you) the most because their preferences vary.
These are women who like (even love!) being treated “like a woman,” but are often afraid of appearing needy or selfish if they allow themselves to rely on a man’s chivalry too much. The concept of a knight in shining armor is not unappealing to them. However, they know better than to “expect” one. They are smart enough to know their own worth, yet are polite enough not to impose it on you because they recognize your worth, as well.
With this particular woman, you need a gradual approach. Start with the basics: pull out her chair, hail her cab, open the door. You can never go wrong with those. Paying for dinner? Absolutely.
However, acknowledge her offer to contribute with appreciation and not disdain. While she appreciates chivalry, she abhors arrogance. Stick with small gestures, like holding her coat or pouring her wine, until you’ve gained her respect and she reveals whether she wants more.
While the “Mixed Messages Woman” seems confusing, she’s truly not. It’s just that your comfort and feeling appreciated are as important to her as you making her feel special.
What if you aren’t sure which kind of woman she is? When in doubt (or if you feel you’ve compromised the otherwise great date with a chivalrous gesture not favorably received), honesty is your best policy. It’s perfectly fine to admit to your date that while you had the best intentions in mind, you just weren’t sure of the right gestures to make. Most women will forgive an innocent mistake and appreciate your effort.
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