When the need for revenge strikes, ask yourself: will spending energy on getting even improve my life beyond the momentary satisfaction from revenge? The answer is always No. Less is better: less attention, less focus on the wrong, less energy thinking or obsessing about it. The most helpful action is inaction. No response is the best response; that unlocks us from pondering rebuttals or getting caught in the no-win game of arguing our point, especially with someone who already doesn’t respect us.
Additionally, some people actually thrive off of conflict and confrontation; the drama is like oxygen to them. If we respond or act out in revenge, that satisfies their need for attention and drama. The knowledge that we have a choice in how we react can free us from becoming entangled in arguments, defending ourselves, and causing more harm to ourselves and others. Wait to calm down. Reach out to someone for help, whether it is a family member, friend or professional.
We all must endure difficulties and it can be easy sometimes to dwell in self pity, thinking we are the only one who has had things “tough.” We’ve all suffered loss, accusations, and attacks on our character. We have all been betrayed and have been hurt by others. Through it all, it is hard to not lose our true nature- and harbor thoughts of hatred, greed or revenge. Understand that, in the end, it is in your best interest to allow the heat of passionate feelings to cool, stay focused on your own life, and to adopt a metaphysical response: stop, sit quietly, and calm our minds.
And yes, words from “The Voice” himself, Frank Sinatra: The best revenge is massive success.