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Resolving Conflicts: The ABCs of Escalating Conflict and 7 Tips To Prevent Them

NOTE: This does not mean that there will be no negativity in the relationship or during the conflict. It means that you both will have an understanding of how to approach the conflict. Little bits of negativity are unavoidable and even healthy, but how you talk and listen during this conflict is what’s important.

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7) Get Help –

If you find that after trying all of these steps you and your partner are still not able to de-escalate and have helpful and constructive conflict, it’s probably in your relationship’s best interest to reach out for professional help. I would recommend looking for a therapist from the following Couples Therapist Directories: Gottman Therapists, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapists, PACT Therapists, and Imago Therapists.

“Compatibility doesn’t determine the fate of a marriage, how you deal with the incompatibilities, does.”
― Abhijit Naskar

1. There are also several books that you can look into, including:

  • Hold Me Tight
  • The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
  • Reconcilable Differences
  • The High Conflict Couple
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2. If you want a more hands-on experience, check out some course that the two of you can participate in, such as:

  • Hold Me Tight Online
  • Our Relationship

In order to know more about how you can make your relationship stronger, check out the video below:

Anger, irritation, and incompatibility- you will come across these three emotions quite frequently in your relationship. But that does not mean that you will give in to those emotions fully and forget that, at the end of the day you love your partner immensely. If there are conflicts in your relationship, make sure that you focus on resolving conflicts; not letting them dominate you and your relationship. No one is perfect, and that includes your partner too. If you want your relationship to stand the test of time, then you must try to accept the good with the bad.

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With love,

Kyle Benson

1. It’s a common belief that people are most honest when they are angry, but I know that isn’t always the case for me, and it probably isn’t for the majority of people. ↩
2. Reconcilable Differences Second Edition: Rebuild Your Relationship by Rediscovering the Partner You Love–without Losing Yourself ↩
3. Overall, N. C., Girme, Y., Lemay, E. P., Jr., & Hammond, M. D. (2014). Attachment anxiety and reactions to relationship threat: The benefits and coss of inducing guilt in romantic partners. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 106, 235-256 ↩
4. Sometimes it’s not even the words we use, but rather our nonverbal actions or tone of voice. ↩

Written by Kyle Benson
Originally appeared in Kyle Benson

You may also like:

9 Common Negative Conflict Patterns That Damage Relationships
There Are Two Views to Every Conflict and Both Are Valid
Help Your Partner Understand Your Side of the Conflict in 3 Steps
5 Relationship Quotes to Help You Resolving Conflict In Relationships
How Repeated Conflicts Destroy Love in Relationships

Resolving Conflicts: The ABCs of Escalating Conflict and 7 Tips To Prevent Them

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Kyle Benson
I've had the privilege of working with men and women on a wide range of relationship issues. I've helped individuals:Leave toxic relationships to find a healthy relationship that makes them feel calm, grateful for the person in their life, and deeply valued by their partner Close the emotional distance between partners so they feel deeply connected to each otherResolve relationship conflict, leading the couple to become closer and more loving than they ever thought imaginable Remove sexual anxiety to create intensely passionate and longer-lasting sexUse problems in the relationship as catalysts to help individuals grow into their highest potential (and become more awesome lovers)Our coaching sessions are tailored towards reaching solutions that improve your relationship quickly. Read more about my coaching programmes here, Relationship Coaching or Email me at [email protected]
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