We all know that life is not a bed of roses. It will be rocky, complicated and bit of a mess. A lot of mess. Similarly, your relationships won’t always go smoothly and perfectly. Not a single relationship in real life, works out as smoothly like your Hollywood rom-coms. However, despite all the drama, it will all be worth it because of love.
Many people feel on reading articles about love that the perfect partner will come along and make their life complete. They envision a movie, riding into the sunset with doves and rose petals everywhere, all the luxuries, the best romantic soundtrack in the background, basically paradise on land.
Head to break your bubble, but it simply does not work that way.
The first thing you should accept is that your life, as well as your relationship, will be full of problems.
Therefore, love is not the only thing you need for things to work out. In a relationship, one needs understanding, compromise, respect for each other, effort, support and belief in each other. You need to support each other to grow into better human beings and also appreciate and love them for who they are.
If you feel that Universe has a perfect partner in store for you, then it suggests that you don’t feel that relationships require time and effort. Take any established couple around you. You will hardly ever find the partners to be super compatible or being similar to each other. When you ask them how they have managed to stay together for so long, they won’t say that they simply fit together. They won’t ever ignore the fact that they have been through several arguments, difficulties and tribulations. You won’t hear them talking about forever because it’s ‘easy’ for them. They won’t tell you that being with their beloved is like a walk in the park.
These enumerate the underlying reality that people who truly love each other know that a relationship is never very easy and convenient. They won’t just consist of good and happy days. A relationship depends entirely on how strong the bond between the two is that they will fight to stay together even in harsh times. When life will throw challenges at them and be extremely hostile, if then, the two people come closer to struggle together, fight for each other, and not break away from each other; then it makes the relationship worthwhile. Whether your relationship will survive the test of time relies on your eagerness to fix it when you feel it cannot be mended, instead of letting it go.
Initially, you might be interested in that person because of their beauty and charm but the strength of a relationship depends on your complete dedication and commitment to the relationship as well as the other person, for being exactly as they are.
You can’t create an entire relationship on the grounds of superficial attraction. The other person won’t either, given the fact that they are truly looking for something deep and emotional. When you are with someone, it means you love them despite their quirks and flaws. You are fully aware that neither of you are perfect and the relationship is nothing close to being ideal but you know this person is right for you, that you won’t choose anyone else but them to spend your life with.
A committed relationship is never about hanging out with one person until you find someone better and shinier. There is no point having an idealistic partner in your head, it will end up making you very disappointed. Dedicate yourself to loving the whole of the other person, to believing in each other at all times, despite whatever may happen around you. The mutual trust and respect should stay undefeated.
You should get into a proper relationship because you love the other person and are willing to be with them no matter what, knowing in your heart that things will be difficult and hard. Don’t expect perfection and fairytales in reality. Things will never be perfect, but you will stick with them through thick and thin, and it won’t matter to you anymore that you can’t get perfect.
Moreover, your perception of commitment is also significant in this scenario. One should not treat the word lightly. It does not signify a temporary arrangement. The depth in this word illustrates a promise, a pledge, a word that states that you will honor the love and integrity of the relationship. You cannot classify commitment as a rule in the Game of Love, but it is an action, a way of showing your dedication to the relationship.
Several people fear commitment. They believe it will curtail their independence, freedom and they will not have any control over their lives. Being committed to one person for the rest of their lives seems so frightening that they run in the other direction.
However, it is important to understand that commitment is not about losing your independence but it is the application of your choice and preference to be with that one person on whom you want to shower all your love, efforts and prized gifts on – they being your one and only, the one who understands you and has agreed to be with you for who you are. You cannot wait to give them all your emotions, your time and most importantly, your heart.
It is rather sad that you will not be able to find the perfect partner, the ideal you had spent years to conjure up in your head.
But listen very carefully to what I will tell you, once you accept and acknowledge this truth about love and life, you will find the person who is just right for you, with whom you will not have similarities and who will not be similar to your ideal type, but they would be Right for you. And that’s what matters at the end of the day.
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