Relationship As A Spiritual Path

relationship as a spiritual path

Intersubjective Spiritual Healing

In an atmosphere of acceptance and compassion, unconditional love can spontaneously arise. Martin Buber believed that spirit resides not in us, but between us. He explained that the “I-Thou” experience gives rise to a numinous, spiritual force, a “presence” in which we experience our true Self.

Experiencing the Self in this milieu feels exhilarating. When we’re not trying to hide, intimacy supports our wholeness. Paradoxically, as we risk losing our partner, we gain ourselves, and although we’re now closer than before, we’re more autonomous. The Self becomes substantial and more individuated.

Our defenses, which we thought kept us safe and made us strong, have not only been obstacles to intimacy but have also fortified old feelings of inadequacy, which stifled our Self and true inner strength.

Trusting our vulnerability, we hesitatingly walk through our fears. We grow in faith, self-compassion, and courage each time we express our authentic self. By risking defenselessness, we begin to see ourselves and others more clearly. We uncover who we truly are, our divinity, within an intimate, “I-Thou” space of unconditional love.

We realize that we’re enough―that our wholeness and self-acceptance don’t depend on what others think but on self-awareness. Our past conditioning and emotional blocks slowly evaporate, and we become stronger. By living in a state of presence, our lives are enriched and vital. Our being generates healing that strengthens our soul.
Such a relationship necessitates two people committed to a spiritual process. Of course, relationships require safety.

Related: Are You Willing To Be Awake In Your Relationship?

Learning to value and protect ourselves are also lessons on our spiritual journey. When we don’t feel safe, we have an inherent right and duty to protect ourselves―not through defensive maneuvers, but by directly expressing our feelings, needs, and wants. Sometimes, we must set boundaries or leave a toxic relationship.

Relationship as a spiritual path requires a willingness to experience the pain of working through our fears and old programming and a belief that in truthfulness lies freedom. In most cases, couples get closer. A healthy relationship will flourish, and an inappropriate one will end.

Copyright Darlene Lancer 2019

Written by Darlene Lancer
Originally appeared on
Relationship as a Spiritual Path
relationship as a spiritual path
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