Everyone has different love languages and way of doing things. For example, some people are expressive verbally and their love language is words of affirmation while some people like to do things and their love language is service.
You need to spend a little time to observe and understand your partner’s love language and accept and appreciate that, otherwise they will keep on expressing their love in their own way and you would totally miss out on it because it is different from your own love language.
For example, whenever I was upset I would expect my partner to provide verbal assurance to console me but he would just not talk and give me some time off.
It was really frustrating for me. It was only after I communicated with him and asked him his reason for doing the same that I understood that it was his way of expressing love by giving me time and space to process my emotions.
It is essential to communicate with your partner to understand why they do what they do. Sometimes we just misinterpret their intentions and fail to understand their love language and totally overlook the love they are trying to express.
Another example, my partner is a perfectionist and has a to-do list for everything and follows structure while I am more laid back and spontaneous and enjoy being in the flow being a creative person.
Initially, my partner would get really upset and think that I am being laid back only to annoy him but as he understood that it is just how I am wired and how I operate in life and it is nothing personal, he could understand and accept my way of doing things.
It is very important to understand and celebrate differences so that we can give each other the space to blossom into our highest potential without stifling each other’s freedom or creativity.
3) Fight clean
“The other day my grandma told me, “when you and him are fighting, you both need to remember that it’s you two vs. the problem, not you vs. him.” and that hit me hard.”
Like we discussed, it is inevitable to have disagreements or conflicts in a relationship but it is important to remember that whenever a problem arises it is about two people being against the problem and not against each other.
When two people approach a conflict with this approach of being a team, they can put their point across without being offensive or mean to the other person. The intent is to resolve a conflict and not to put the other person down.
Therefore, it is very important to fight clean as two mature adults instead of letting the emotions get the better of us.
4) Work as a team
In a relationship, it is all about working as a team. It is not about individual successes and happiness; it is about the growth and happiness of both the partners.
It is important to meet your partner midway to ensure the happiness of both the partners instead of just thinking about having your way all the time.
For example, both the partners can have different vacationing styles. One can like to laze around and one can be adventurous and like to explore the place. One can be introvert and a homebody and need more quiet time to recharge, others can be an extrovert and like to socialize to recharge.
But when you are in a relationship, you have to learn to accommodate your partner’s preferences and lifestyle along with your own and move together as a team.
It is about coming together and inspiring each other to reach our highest potential without losing our own individuality in the process.