Change your coping strategies
If you’ve been suffering from the trauma of domestic abuse for a long time, it’s likely that your perception of what’s right and what’s wrong has changed. You are traumatized and scared, and your every sentence tends to begin or end with “I’m sorry.” You’ve learned how to be silent and unobtrusive, you’ve learned to never speak your mind, to submit.
Anything just so you wouldn’t provoke the rage of your abuser. Your mind will need time to realize that abuse isn’t the default state of things, that the way you’ve been treated is unacceptable. Take small steps and start talking about what happened. And if you’re not ready for that, just start talking, about anything. Speak your mind, you no longer need to be silent.
Rediscover your dreams and passions and work on them. Learn about things you always wanted to learn and focus on healing.
Surround yourself with good people
Abusers seek to dominate over us whether through emotional manipulation, violence, or threats. They isolate us from our loved ones, from everyone who could have maybe been there for us. You need to reconnect with your family and friends, and bring good, kind people back into your life.
They will provide support, and they can be a voice of reason in moments when you don’t know what to do. They can give you comfort when you feel weak and help keep your abuser as far away from you as possible.
The hardest step to take, and the most important one. Things that happened weren’t your fault. No matter how many times you burned the dinner, or forgot to do a chore, or said something silly. No one has any right to abuse you, and there is no excuse for what has been done to you.
They told you that you aren’t worth it, that no one else will love you, that you’re stupid and wrong and useless, but they were talking about themselves. You are none of these things, and only impotent, mean, petty people could say something like that. You need to forgive yourself to move on, you need to learn how to love yourself and all that you are.
Every time you want to regress to that state of insecurity, remember that your life is back in your hands, they can’t hurt you anymore, and you are stronger than they could ever be.
You’ve made the right choice. You doubt that, but you’ve made the right choice. Life didn’t magically become easier, and it won’t for a while, but you’ve given yourself a chance to make it better. You are going to be okay.
So, ready to start the journey of recovery from the emotional trauma of domestic abuse? Leave your thoughts in comments and feel free to share the article with your friends.