As human beings, we are born to face numerous challenges and circumstances that often seem to threaten our inner peace and happiness, at which, most of the time; we seem not to understand what is going on in our lives due to pressure and anxiety surrounding us. If we donโt know what is disturbing or bugging us, there is no way we can lay our hand on a remedy or solution. The rate at which people suffer from psychological issues or personality disorders is very alarming. There are some basic steps that may help in overcoming or enable you to handle the problem, if applied wisely:
- Identify the problem,
- Desire or intention,
- Consistency or commitment,
- Forgiveness,
- Appreciate and celebrate yourself;
- Think big and dream on
- A positive approach to each morning
Forgiveness:
Forgive (yourself) in other words โlet it goโ i.e. forget the past events, mishaps, painful experiences, etc., that has to do with you or someone, you have to forgive yourself for the previous mistakes, decisions, regrets, and also failure to achieve the targeted goal or reach the desirable destination.
The forgiveness aspect can really help and goes a long way in improving you psychologically, because it might be that you have abandoned and ignored yourself for a long time due to the situation you might have experienced. It goes this way; in reality, we are bound to offend or hurt one another naturally, which I will term as both โintentional or unintentionalโ, so when you offend or hurt someone and after you realized your action, what do you do? You render an apology or sincerely ask for forgiveness from the person you have offended; and in return, the person you offended or hurt has accepted you and also forgiven you, this opens the door to re-establish friendship or relationship with the person again. The same applies to our inner self, so you have to forgive yourself which will really go well in the process of rebranding.
Love yourself:
As human beings, love is an essential ingredient that we need and it’s naturally seeded in us by God, but most often; we expect and acknowledge love from other people ( i.e. from families, friends and so on) while you donโt love yourself or place self-love first before love from others. Uttering positive words or affirmation to yourself gives you confidence and courage. So love yourself and tell yourself โI love youโ, in return, it gives you good feelings and also makes you feel better.
In addition, when you express your feeling to the person you have affection for; and he/she rejects or turns you down, the rejection will not harm you psychologically because you know that you love yourself and the love exists in you which helps you handle the situation sensitively.
Appreciate and celebrate yourself:
We often love to appreciate other people around us, who might have contributed to our success, achievements, or have helped and also assisted us in one way or the other. There is nothing wrong with appreciating people around us for their help and kind gestures towards us. But there is something wrong, which is, we donโt appreciate ourselves or we take self-appreciation for granted; but the big question here is, why do we appreciate others and we donโt appreciate ourselves? For many, they might think that the above question is rubbish or some will disagree with my question, but whatever way you might view it, you will come to realize what I mean.
You are the one who underwent all the challenges and struggles, no one knows how tough and complicated the task was nor have the best understanding of the situation except someone who was in the same shoe as you. We cannot sit and expect others to appreciate or celebrate our efforts, success or achievement, the appreciation and celebration should come from you first. When you carefully reflect back to your life or previous years, you will find numerous reasons to appreciate and celebrate yourself; letโs try to cultivate the habit of appreciating and celebrating ourselves first, before expecting it from people close to or around us. Appreciating and celebrating oneโs self goes a long way in any situation one might find himself.
Self-approval:
Why do you wait for someone to give or make a decision concerning your future? Why do you care much about peopleโs opinion about you or donโt you believe that you can do it? What is stopping you from making that decision or from taking that bold step in your life?
All these revolve around โapprovalโ, you are waiting for someone to tell you, “you can make it”, to decide or give you permission before you can start working towards achieving your goal in life, you donโt have to wait for me or anyoneโs approval but your own approval.
Great men and women like Benjamin Carson, Bill Gate, Serena Williams, Aliko Dangote, President Muhammad Buhari, and so on, donโt wait nor expect approval from anyone; and that is why we can see where they are today. What is holding most people down from achieving their goals or becoming the person they want to be is that we want or place our approval on someone. I or you donโt need that; it is your life and you know what you truly want and are capable of doing, you have to give yourself the green light to go and achieve your dreams, which I termed as โself-approvalโ. Self-approval is a very vital element or ingredient that works within your inner self, so donโt wait for anyoneโs approval.
Think big and dream on:
Today we can see great men and women are celebrated around the world for their various achievements and successes, such as President Muhammad Buhari, Bill Gates, Serena Williams, Dangote, Wole Soyinka, and so on; they have great influence in the world, but how did they manage to achieve or get to where they are today? All these people think big, their thinking is not based on the problems or challenges surrounding them but rather on how to find solutions or solve problems confronting society, and all this starts with a dream. You must sit and think big about where you want to be and how you can get there, you must picture yourself and have a vision of the person you want to be or the things you want to achieve.
Thinking big and dreaming on gives you direction, a map, ideals, and the focus on how to execute your dreams. One must have it on their mind that when you have a dream, you must dream it on i.e. be committed toward your dream and also how you can achieve it.
Positive approach:
Every morning is like an engine, for a machine to work properly; it must have a good engine and without a good engine the desirable result cannot be achieved. Thus, this also applies to us humans; your morning is your machine and how you start your morning is your engine; to have a successful day or achieve your goals for that day, you must have a strong morning routine that keeps you positive throughout the day. But this also has to do with how you ended your day or in what mood you went to bed.
I thought of some steps that will help you achieve or have a positive morning:
1. End your day well, i.e., go to bed with a positive mindset or good mood; if it means doing things or your hobbies that make you happy, then do it.
2. When you wake up in the morning, donโt take your phone first or check emails or social medial accounts.
3. Observe your morning prayer. For the Muslims, after your morning prayer, do your zikir (remembrance of Allah in the morning and evening), your taslim, read your Qurโan and other supplications meant for morning and evening. For the Christians say your morning devotion, prayer and also read your Bible.
4. Do some inspirational exercises like meditation, reading the Qurโan, Bible and other inspirational books you can lay your hands on. Also watch and listen to inspiration videos, audio, songs on your phone, laptop or YouTube.
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