7 Reasons Why You Are Attracting Toxic People In Your Life (And How to Fix Them)

 August 01, 2016

7 Reasons Why You Are Attracting Toxic People In Your Life (And How to Fix Them)

But the inner peace you exude is attractive to the toxic person who’s eager to disrupt the peace.  They may misinterpret your apparent pacifism and conclude that you’re an easy target for their controlling ways.  And in your weaker moments you may find yourself saying yes to them more often than you might realize.

The fix:

Become aware of how a toxic person may try to take advantage of your easygoing ways.  For instance, your polite words and gestures may be seen as an open invitation.  Phrases such as “Sure, anytime you want,” or, “That’s no problem at all,” may be interpreted literally by a toxic person.  They may respond by monopolizing your time for their own purposes.

Avoid the tendency to automatically commit to requests.  Instead, make your default response: “Let me get back to you on that in ten minutes.”  If you do say yes, be sure not to give the impression that your offer is open-ended. 

 

5.  Your sunny disposition is all-inclusive.

As the saying goes, opposites attract.  Sometimes the positive light you shine attracts people who are craving the light themselves.

As a person with a sunny disposition, you’re often the one to strike up a conversation or light up a room with your infectious smile.  These qualities make you a pleasure to be around but may also be attractive to certainly toxic people who ultimately want to hog everyone’s attention and make the conversation about “ME, ME, ME.”  They are typically unhappy with themselves, and therefore look to others for validation.  These people deserve respect, but you need to respect yourself too.

The fix:

Understand that many unhappy people are unable to find joy within themselves – and they mistakenly believe that you can make them happy.  They’re relatively easy to spot because they’ll go above and beyond to please you with flattery, gifts or idealization.  They’ll be overly agreeable and willing to fulfill your requests or desires, as long as you give them a “yes” to everything.

These are warning signs that you may be in danger of falling under the obligations of a toxic person who will eventually expect you to pump up their ego 24/7.  But the truth is, you can’t make them happy, even if you could oblige to their every need.  And you’re almost certain to make yourself unhappy by doing so.

If you find yourself entering into a relationship with a person like this, ask yourself: Am I spending time with this person because they flatter me or because I genuinely want to be in this relationship?  If your answer is the former, don’t be afraid to give yourself some breathing room.

 

6.  You’re a great bridge builder.

If you’re a bridge builder, you can’t stand seeing disagreements and disputes go unresolved.  If you’re one of the parties involved, you’ll move heaven and earth to find a compromise or resolve the problem.

While most people would likely respond to such overtures in kind ways, certain toxic people in your life may be more interested in destroying bridges rather than building them.

The fix:

Some toxic people find their joy by creating drama and discord.  Understand that some bridges are simply not worth building or maintaining.  They’re bridges to nowhere.

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