If you find yourself entering into a relationship with a person like this, ask yourself: Am I spending time with this person because they flatter me or because I genuinely want to be in this relationship? If your answer is the former, don’t be afraid to give yourself some breathing room.
6. You’re a great bridge builder.
If you’re a bridge builder, you can’t stand seeing disagreements and disputes go unresolved. If you’re one of the parties involved, you’ll move heaven and earth to find a compromise or resolve the problem.
While most people would likely respond to such overtures in kind ways, certain toxic people in your life may be more interested in destroying bridges rather than building them.
Some toxic people find their joy by creating drama and discord. Understand that some bridges are simply not worth building or maintaining. They’re bridges to nowhere.
How do you resist the urge to build or maintain bridges when you know it’s futile? Think about how often you’ve had to work on building or repairing bridges due to a toxic person’s behavior. If they’re constantly requiring you to resolve disputes, think about how they may be deriving pleasure at your expense. It may be a sign that you’ll need to cut funding to this hopeless venture so you can apply your resources of time and energy to more positive endeavors.
May the bridges you burn light your way.
7. Your view of human nature is super positive.
For most of us, our daily interactions with people affirm our basic assumptions that the average human being is kind and decent. But every so often, we unsuspectingly run into the darker sides of human nature in the people around us that may challenge these assumptions.
Do you struggle to accept the darker sides of human nature such as possessiveness, narcissism, greed, and deception? Do you hold on to friendships with such people because you believe they will change? Do you brush off their put downs and unkind deeds and spend lots of time with them anyway?
If so, you may have a relatively high tolerance for toxic people. You may find yourself enduring their negative and even abusive behavior. And you actually may not realize that you are in a relationship with a toxic person until the situation becomes dire.
Human beings are pretty good at sensing danger with their intuition – not just physical dangers but emotional dangers as well. If you’re in an emotionally negative or abusive situation, don’t second-guess the discomfort you feel inside. This may be difficult because your optimism about others may drown out uncomfortable feelings such as anxiety, shock, anger, or emotional withdrawal.
When warning signs appear in the form of emotional discomfort, instead of brushing them off or ignoring them, ask yourself these questions:
- What is causing this feeling in me when I’m with this person?
- What is this discomfort trying to protect me from?
- What positive actions can I take to relieve this discomfort?
Just like physical pain (as unpleasant as it is) protects you from further bodily harm, emotional discomfort, when embraced, can protect you from the damaging effects of a toxic environment.
The positivity and goodness you bring to the world truly are precious gifts. Protect these gifts from negative influences. Invest yourself in people and circumstances that will magnify your efforts rather than diminish them.
Even though your positive traits may inadvertently attract toxic people, do not let this stop you from being who you are. Just be aware of this reality so you can better spot danger when it arises and take positive, protective measures.
Also consider that your positive gifts have the power to indirectly transform negativity. Just as light will dispel darkness, your light can be a shining example to those who mean well but don’t realize their toxic tendencies. And even though you’ll need to limit your exposure to them, don’t underestimate the possibility that your example may influence them for the better, one way or the other, over the long run.
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