3. You Haven’t Worked on Yourself
The number one way to attract love is to make yourself into a vessel that can receive it.
A successful relationship comes down to two things: the right person at the right time. The first thing that’s important to remember when it comes to relationships is that in general, like attracts like. That is, what you are or think you are is what you will attract.
If you don’t value yourself, you will go for someone who doesn’t treat you well, and you will be OK with it because he’s just validating how you feel about yourself.
If you are emotionally unavailable, you will attract a guy who is emotionally unavailable. Now, you can want to be in a relationship and at the same time be unavailable in your own way. If you’re afraid of getting hurt or feel like the guys you want always leave you, then you might subconsciously be putting up walls to protect yourself.
In order to attract a real relationship, you first need to make sure that you are in the right place emotionally. Make sure you want a relationship for the right reasons, not just to fill a void or make you feel better about yourself. You also need to develop a firm sense of who you are and learn how to be happy without a relationship.
It may seem like finding a great guy who likes you and sticks around, whereas the others couldn’t or wouldn’t, will take the sting out of past rejection, but it doesn’t work that way. If you’re still holding onto hurt from the past, then it will spill over into you relationships in the present.
Good self-esteem attracts someone capable not only of healthy interactions but of loving you for who you are. If you’re not sure of yourself inside, you’ll seek validation outside.
Solution: I have a friend who asks herself every day: “Would I want to date me today?” I think it’s a pretty amazing exercise and will help you realize where you’re falling short and what you need to work on.
If you want an emotionally healthy, confident, stable guy, then you need to make sure you mirror those qualities at the same level. I mean, why would a guy like that want to be with someone who is an insecure emotional mess? If you want that kind of guy, you need to be that kind of girl.
As soon as you’re in that place where you are your best self and you mirror the qualities you want, you’ll notice an instant change in your love life; you’ll find that you can easily get the kind of guy and the kind of relationship you’ve always wanted. This path with be different for everyone, but try as best you can to discover the best path for you.
4. You Want Guys Who Don’t Want You
One of the biggest obstacle standing in your way and stopping you from having the relationship you want is wanting the guys who don’t want you. It’s a ubiquitous phenomenon. Every day my inbox gets flooded with questions from women plotting and strategizing to capture a man who does not seem to want to be captured…at least not by her.