Selfishness is part of his makeup. It stems from the same sort of deep-rooted insecurities that animate his attempts to control the woman he professes to love. It does not take long before the woman finds herself constantly being questioned and controlled. She cannot spend time with girlfriends without being interrogated.
Or, what should have been a romantic stroll in the park leads to heated accusations of a straying heart because she happened to glance at another man, or smile at the teenage boy who worked at the kiosk where they bought ice cream.
The Dilemma And The Solution
Invariably ‘Bad Boy’ romances turn into dystopic love affairs. The woman who enters such a relationship often feels as though her emotions are bounced around like a ping pong: one week she is hounded at every turn, the next ignored in favor of the Bad Boy’s friends, or other love interests.
Extricating herself from such a relationship can be difficult. She has begun to know the Bad Boy, seen past the tough guy exterior, and glimpsed the frightened man behind the curtain. His hidden yet deep insecurities evoke sympathy from her… even pity. This creates a predicament. To leave someone who is so vulnerable feels like abandonment.
Even so, a woman who finds herself in a relationship with this sort of fellow will do best by making for the exit…. these fellows seldom change. To do so would require him to acknowledge the deficits that exist in his character. Making substantive changes would also require an honest admission, if only to himself, of the insecurities that drive much of his behavior.
For the bad boy, this type of self-reflection feels overwhelmingly threatening, and consequently change seldom occurs.
What to do then? Paul Simon said it well in 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover:
You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don’t need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free.
Written By Forrest Talley Originally Appeared In Forrest Talley
Bad boys may seem attractive and exciting from afar, but the closer you get to them, the more you will burn. Being in a mature and long-term relationship with a bad boy is challenging, and chances are you will end up getting emotionally and mentally destroyed. So, it’s better to stay away from them and wait for someone who will give you the love and respect you truly deserve.