5 Reasons You May Be Feeling Relationship Boredom

Reasons Feeling Relationship Boredom

4. A lack of intimacy

It’s no secret that although a relationship can start off with a great level of chemistry and growing intimacy, that this can change as stress levels increase and the relationship feels more stable. As a result, intimacy can begin to wane over time and one or both partners may feel bored.

Some couples assume that talking about their sex life is a bad thing and ruins the mood when the opposite could be true. It can actually be quite fun and build up the anticipation in a playful way. 

If a lack of intimacy is an issue in your relationship, consider carving out some uninterrupted time each week to reconnect with one another intimately. Keep in mind that being intimate is so much more than sex and can also include flirting, teasing, foreplay, and playful texts.

Take turns talking about your fantasies and new things you would like to try in the bedroom with one another. Try making a game out of it by putting your ideas in a box, then each time you want to try something new, pick an idea from the box. 

Related: 3 Signs You Are Still In Love And There’s No Need To Walk Away

5. You have a different love language than your partner. 

Love languages refer to the different ways partners express their love for one another and include words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. People generally have a primary and sometimes secondary love language that represents the way in which they feel most loved by a partner.

If you and your partner have different love languages, you may feel bored or disconnected from the partner if your needs aren’t being met in a way that helps you feel most loved.

Knowing your love language as well as your partner’s can help introduce novelty and creative ways of showing you care about your partner, which in turn can deepen your bond, increase relationship satisfaction, and reduce feelings of boredom. 

Reasons Relationship Boredom
Not knowing your partner’s love language is one of the reasons behind relationship boredom

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only. This article is not intended to be a substitute for professional or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your mental health professional or other qualified health providers with any questions you may have regarding your condition or well-being. 


Boven, L. V., & Ashworth, L. (2007). Looking forward, looking back: Anticipation is more evocative than retrospection. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General,136(2), 289-300. doi:10.1037/0096-3445.136.2.289

Dutton, D. G., & Aron, A. P. (1974). Some evidence for heightened sexual attraction under conditions of high anxiety. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 30(4), 510–517. https://doi.org/10.1037/h0037031

Lyubomirsky, S. (2010). Hedonic Adaptation to Positive and Negative Experiences. Oxford Handbooks Online. doi:10.1093/oxfordhb/9780195375343.013.0011

Dr. Zarrabi is the author of Mindful Dating, a Psychology Today blog about attraction and relationship patterns. Check it out at www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-dating

Written By Roxy Zarrabi
Originally Appeared In Psychology Today

Now that you know the reasons that cause relationship boredom, make sure that both of you consciously work on them together to bring back that passion and spark. Try to understand each other and your needs, and as long as you are doing it together, your relationship will be in a good and happy place.

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5 Reasons You May Be Feeling Relationship Boredom
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Roxy Zarrabi, Psy.D

Roxy Zarrabi, Psy.D., is a Clinical Psychologist who specializes in relationship patterns, perfectionism, and positive psychology. She guides clients through the process of healing by empowering them to tap into their inner wisdom and utilize their strengths to combat their inner critic, boost their mood, and enhance their relationships. Her goal is to help people learn to thrive and live more meaningful lives. She is the author of Mindful Dating, a Psychology Today blog about the psychology of attraction and relationship patterns. More information about her therapy services can be found at www.drroxyzarrabi.com.View Author posts