This type of limiting fear is a very boyish quality, which is also behind the immature fear of losing oneself in a woman. If a man doesn’t have healthy boundaries and self-esteem and trusts himself to have the strength to reinforce and express them, then he will live in fear of being engulfed by his relationships. Because of such fear men won’t commit to you.
Another way fear expresses itself ties back to not having enough experience and wisdom.
Many of us, especially when we’re young, tend to look for the perfect or ideal partner.
We tend to be afraid that a relationship won’t work out, or it’s not “true love,” unless we’re 100% sure about it being the perfect fit right out the gate.
But after some time and wisdom gleaned from living and looking, we hopefully start to see that this idea is a totally misleading illusion.
The truth is that, out of the billions of people on the planet, there are many people that we could have a deeply nourishing, long-term commitment.
What it all comes down to is:
Am I as a man actively moving forward on my own clear path to becoming the person I really want to be? And am I truly ready to do the work to co-exist with another human and build a life together?
If the answer to either of those questions is “No,” then the answer is the same as commitment in a relationship.
Holding Space For Commitment
If you love and admire a man, but since any of the above issues getting in the way of his ability to commit, it can be tough to let go.
You may hope that next month he will suddenly change his mind, or that you might be able to change it for him. But most of these things require work that requires willingness and time, and can’t be done overnight.
But this is part of mature love. We have to accept that some people just won’t be a fit with our relationship needs at that time, and that’s okay.
Respect where he is at on his path, and create space in your life for another man to enter who has become ready for commitment.
Dedicated to your success,
Ps. If you enjoyed this article, you’ll love checking out my new video program called Inside The Male Mind. In it, I deep dive into everything man. How we’re raised differently… what we look for our of life/relationship/love/sex… and how we truly feel about women.
I’ve been working with men 1-on-1 for over a decade and I’ve packaged everything I know about the deepest secrets and desires of men into this one cohesive package. If you want a loving relationship with a man, I can’t recommend it highly enough.
Written by: Jordan Gray
Originally appeared on: Jordan Gray