I’d Rather Be Alone Than Be With Someone Who Doesn’t Deserve Me

I’d Rather Be Alone Than Be With Someone Who Doesn’t Deserve Me

We’ve been hardwired with the illusion that love conquers all ever since we depended on “true love’s kiss” to awaken us from dreadful spells and a thousand years’ worth of sleep.

Now, don’t get me wrong, this ideal idea of love isn’t all fiction, as a matter of fact this post concurs with this idea, but not wholly. Movies aggrandize such affairs to such impossible extents. They feed the masses with a befitting ending that they all hope to achieve someday, but in reality only few of them ever get to see the curtain drop with a grin across their face.

As of 2018, more than 40% of couples who got married filed for divorce, and most modern day relationships at my age are pointless hookups where the girl ends up being called a psycho and the boy an idiot.

We’ve been anticipating and expecting sexual tension and physical attraction rather than actually getting to know someone and spending quality time with them, as they should be and as they deserve. Dates these days are rarely finished off with the man walking his significant other to the door of her house without the presumption of receiving a “happy ending” before midnight.

I’m not a fan of diving into something so deeply as sharing your entire life story with someone in a matter of weeks or a couple of months.

I strongly believe that people should reach the point of running out of topics to bring up in each social engagement or romantic getaway before taking the decision of taking off to something that compromises both parties. Simply put – a relationship. 

Unfortunately, most don’t end up as solid relationships because all it took for the guy to “bring out the big guns” and start calling that girl his girlfriend was a couple of night outs with tequila shots and two months of making out in his car. Putting in effort and working to build someone’s trust and actually getting to know them doesn’t exist anymore; having long and meaningful conversations that do not involve hollow emotions and pointless drama don’t prevail in this century.

Yes, Hollywood Cinema is unrealistic and impractical; as a matter of fact, it wasn’t up until a few years ago that the idea of a woman who could live without a man had been brought up to the big screen. But despite their idealistic portrayal of romance, they are right in one aspect. They are right in fostering fighting for the person you care about or have feelings for; actually letting them know you care and are making the effort, going against all odds like status, families, gravity, jobs, just to be with the one they truly love. Falling deeply in love with all that they are and putting power and muscle into it.

This is why I’d rather be alone than be with you.

I was once told by a friend that if someone wants to be with you they will make it happen. The fact that I became just another option in your life is a position I never perceived nor am I proud to have become.

It took me years to recognize and realize this with constant conversations with the people I love and trust and a whole lot of self-meditation.

I know for certain, deep in my heart that at some point in your life you did actually care about me, but I also know my worth – which is something that unfortunately you fail to see.

But now I understand that I can, and I know I deserve someone who does not hesitate at the thought of being by my side, someone whom I know that despite my wild personality and innumerable flaws, will love me and accept me for who I am. Either that or I’d rather be alone.

I never intended to be that girl, the one who kept waiting countless weeks for a boy, not a man, but a boy, to make up his mind about whether I was the right one for his life.

Dependency was my second name before you came along, but now that I’ve realized how much I actually have a right to desire and wish for, is the reason that 10 letter word has been erased from my vocabulary.

This doesn’t make you a bad person, instead, you yourself deserve to be downright sure of the girl you want to be with. But this does not give you the privilege to come and go as you please for your own benefit.

Expending all my precious energy,time and effort into someone or something that at the end of the day has been taking me for granted is something I promise myself to never do again.

Not only do I think it’s morally unethical for a person to not communicate their feelings and repeatedly keep someone on limbo, but I also believe that as more support towards young women grows as having a voice and seeking their self-worth, they will easily be able to tell the difference between someone who truly treasures them and someone who simply cannot see how valuable they are.

I may be too young to be talking with much passion about a sensitive topic that my 40-year old mother may consider to be trivial, but I am also proud of myself that at such a young age I am able to stand on my two feet and look someone in the eyes and say “NO, I want more, I deserve more.”

This is why I’d rather be alone than be with you –

This is why I’d rather be alone than be with someone who doesn’t deserve me.

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