Someone who seeks to increase their emotional intelligence is someone who is adaptable.
They know that perseverance is important, while stubbornness is limiting. They know when to adjust when appropriate, instead of wasting their strength and energy plowing through obstacles.
They know that some balance is crucial, but they don’t beat themselves up for being imbalanced. They are grounded in any situation and environment, while also light and loose. They are easy-going but purposeful. They know when to lead and how to follow. They know how to work and how to relax. They enjoy wherever they are, whatever they’re doing, whoever they’re with.
Highly emotionally intelligent people are aware of their emotions, and don’t let the emotions get to the best of them. They don’t allow the negative ones to limit their capability, nor the positive ones to distort their reality. They’re self-motivated and passionate and alive. Their words have intention and action behind them.
They don’t try to rationalize their emotions, they listen to them, use them to take them to beautiful places, to do great things. They act in spite of fear. They don’t suppress their emotions, they learn from them.
Want to know more about how an emotionally intelligent partner thinks? Check this video out below!
11. Treat themselves accordingly
Love is not only meant to be given outwardly but inwardly as well. The emotionally intelligent partner cares for their own hearts and minds as if they were a loved one.
Emotionally intelligent people are not just in a relationship with their partner, but with themselves. They treat their partner right, they treat their family right, they treat strangers right, and most importantly they treat themselves right. They know what they need, not just what they want. And they know when and how they need it. They know what is good for them and when they deserve it.
They are selfish, but not inconsiderate. They value generosity and selflessness, which include being generous and selfless to themselves. They show love in all directions.
These qualities are not meant “the best” or the “most enlightened” or whatever you think is perfection. Don’t expect everyone to exhibit all of these at all times. Nor should we think that we have to have all of these qualities in order to be an emotionally intelligent person, let alone a good partner. Don’t burden that expectation onto your partner.
Instead, all I ask is to choose one or two that you value for yourself. Practice the ones that work for you and your partner. You don’t have to be perfect, just willing to learn.
What are some specific things I can do?
I’ve collected these 11 exercises to practice your emotional intelligence. Some may work better than others, but staying consistent with a few of them will help you build a life to love.
Previously published here and reprinted with the author’s permission.
Written by Victor Ung Originally appeared in The Goodmen Project