11. Mental problems and psychopathy
Some people tend to be deliberately malicious due to mental disturbances like psychopathy. However, that doesn’t mean that everyone suffering from mental illness will be mean or hurtful.
Now that you know why mean people behave the way they do, you need to know how you can deal with them and protect your inner peace so that you don’t get personally affected by their toxicity.
Here’s how you can deal with mean people
“But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” – Matthew 5:44
If you have to face mean people on a regular basis and if they are starting to make your life difficult, then it’s necessary that you learn how to deal with these toxic people. Here are a few effective strategies and techniques that you can use on mean people whether it’s your boss, a coworker, a neighbor, a client, a family member, or just a stranger. Remember, the better you know this person, the better you will be able to deal with their toxicity.
“Don’t let people pull you into their storms. Pull them into your peace.” – unknown
Take a deep breathe and calm yourself down. The worst thing you can do is lose your cool and go down to their level. The more collected, calm and logical you are, the more easily you will be able to prevail over them. When you can control your reactions, you can control the situation. So take a pause and reflect.
2. Hear them out
Listening to the person being mean will help you understand them and will give you the tools to deal with them. When you allow them to feel heard and acknowledged and to vent, they will eventually calm down and will be in a position to listen to your logic and reasoning. This will help you understand what to say next and own the conversation.
3. Show kindness
“Be kind to unkind people; they need it the most.” – Buddhism
Ever heard of the phrase ‘kill them with kindness’? Although toxic people do not deserve any kindness, it can actually help you heal. When you change any feelings of negativity and focus more on being positive, you win despite what the situation is. Kindness allows you to feel better and even heal the other person.
4. Be empathetic
In case you are not that well acquainted with the mean individual, you don’t know if the person is disturbed or just as an asshole or a complete sociopath. Being empathetic will allow you to understand what makes them mean. Once you know what is making them triggered, you can understand, connect, reach out and even offer them some much-needed help.
5. Know how you feel
When facing negativity, we are bound to feel some intense and strong emotions, So it’s crucial you acknowledge your own emotions. Understand how you are feeling at the moment. Are you angry? Are you shocked? Or are you hurt? Be honest with your feelings and know that it’s okay to feel the way you do. This will help you rise above the hate.
6. Never take it personally
This may be hard for most of us but it is very important that you do not take all the meanness on a personal level. As you are not aware of their situation and what is making them so much negative, you need to realize it’s not about you. It’s about them. They are simply overwhelmed and acting out against their problems. They probably did not intend to target you.
7. Be compassionate
“Being nice to those who treat you badly isn’t being fake. Your spiritual maturity has risen above the desire for vengeance.” – Michael Binot
It’s hard to feel any kind of compassion when someone is constantly bad mouthing you and hating you. But this is an excellent way for you to deal with them. Studies have revealed that compassion allows our heart rate to slow down and enables the secretion of oxytocin or the bonding hormone. Moreover, it also stimulates areas in the brain associated with empathy and joy which helps us care for others when they most need it. The better you understand them, the better you will be able to control the conversation.
8. Know that you have a choice
“The less you respond to rude, critical, argumentative people, the more peaceful your life will become.” – Mandy Hale
The biggest damage a toxic person can do is affect our emotional and mental state. But it is on you if you will allow their negativity to affect you. Even if you have to engage, you can control how much they affect you. You don’t need to accept their negativity just because they have a lot of it.