It’s a clear sign that they are relying on primitive coping mechanisms — like avoidance and denial — and is not able to have a mature relationship with you at this time.
Don’t bother reaching out to them again once you’ve gotten this message, either; if you believe the anecdotal evidence, asking people why they’ve ghosted you may even cause them to ghost you again.
If your self-esteem has been damaged by the way someone else ended a relationship, don’t sacrifice any more of it by trying to communicate with someone who cannot do so in a mature way. You’ll do better to spend your time with courteous, kind people, and your ghost has just identified himself, or herself, as someone who is neither.
Hosie, R. (2018, August). I tracked down all the men who’ve ghosted me and this is what happened. Retrieved from https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/ghosting-men-tracked-down-messaged-what-happened-dating-trends-uk-a8393866.html
Kim, J. (2015, July). The strange psychology of ghosting. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/valley-girl-brain/201507/the-strange-psychology-ghosting
Leary, M. R.,Haupt, A. L., Strausser, K. S., & Chokel, J. T. 1998. Calibrating the sociometer: The relationship between interpersonal appraisals and state self-esteem. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 74, p.1290-1299.
Popescu, A. (2019, January). Why people ghost and how to get over it. Retrieved from https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/22/smarter-living/why-people-ghost-and-how-to-get-over-it.html
Priebe, H. (2019, February). Why good people ghost: How our current dating culture necessitates dishonesty. Retrieved from https://thoughtcatalog.com/heidi-priebe/2015/08/why-good-people-ghost-how-our-current-dating-culture-necessitates-dishonesty/
Samakow, J. (2017, December). Ghosting: The 21st-century dating problem everyone talks about, but no one knows how to deal with. Retrieved from https://www.huffpost.com/entry/ghosting-dating-_n_6028958
Vilhauer, J. (2015, November). This is why ghosting hurts so much. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/201511/why-ghosting-hurts-so-much
Williams, C., Richardson, D. Hammock, G., Janit, S. 2012. Perceptions of physical and psychological aggression in close relationships: A review. Aggression and Violent Behavior, 17, (6), p. 489–494.
Psychological Truths About Ghosting
Written By Loren Soeiro
Originally Appeared In Psychology Today
Ghosting is a horrible, and demeaning method when it comes to breaking up with someone. This practice can severely hurt a person’s self-esteem and dignity. Hopefully, these psychological truths about ghosting can help you detect if and when it’s happening so that you can deal with the whole thing better.
If you want to know more about the psychological truths about ghosting, then check this video out below: